It is so important to have a community of Christian friends to do life. As Christians, we will face trials, setbacks, and battles and we must be brave enough to form genuine friendships with others to have people to support us.
The key to having more friendships? Being a friend first. If you want to make new friends, learn how to be a better friend and reap a harvest of Christian friends in return.
God gives us an example of how important a support system is in the story of Moses in Exodus 17:8-15. When Moses fought his first battle in the wilderness, his friends were there to support him. Joshua was the one fighting and leading the Israelites in battle and they were winning as long as Moses held up his staff in his hands. When Moses got tired, Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on and even held up his hands to support him.
We not only need friends that will be there to support us and hold us up when we are tired of fighting, but we also need people in our life who are going to worship God with us in the battle. When we raise our hands to God, it is a sign of surrender or worship to God.
Worship? Why would we worship and praise God in our battle? Because God delights in our praise and he moves when we put our faith in him.
Praise tells God that we trust him to win this battle for us. Praise tells God that we believe in his power and that he is in control. Praise tells God that we know his promises and that we will achieve victory through him. Praise tells God we are putting our faith in what God can do and not what we can do in our own strength.
We need friends that will remind us of and declare God’s promises over our battles. We need friends who are going to remind us that God is faithful and of all the miracles he’s already done for us and that he will do it again.
We need friends who are going to choose to see the positive and what God can do instead of fixating on the negative and the circumstances around us. We need friends who will be there to support us, who will lift their hands with us as we worship and cry out to the Lord. We need friends who will lift their hands with us in praise as we celebrate our victories.
When I moved to San Diego a few years ago, I barely knew anyone and struggled for months to meet people that would be true friends. I was still dabbling in the bar scene and going to all sorts of fitness groups and meetups which were fun for a while but I wasn’t meeting people that would be true friends and who would support me in my journey of seeking God.
I prayed for months for God to bring me true friends and it wasn’t until I started going to my home church, Awaken, that I met people who would become my true friends. Joining an all women’s connect group and a volunteer team enabled me to meet my closest friends, mentors and boyfriend that I have now. These people changed my life and I would not be the woman of faith I am today without their love and encouragement.
Below are some key elements that I saw in the people who befriended me and that I practiced to form true friendships with others around me.
We need to know and meditate on God’s word in order to declare it over our lives. Meditating means reading, reflecting and memorizing a verse that speaks to you. Meditating allows God’s word to be stored in our hearts so when we need it, the Holy Spirit will bring that verse to light so you can speak and declare it.
We need to know God’s word in order to provide wisdom and counsel to others. If I need advice on a certain situation, I turn to those I know have God’s word in them because they will be able to remind me of what God’s word says. They will be able to speak, declare and pray God’s word over me and my situation.
Hebrews 4:12 tells us that “the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword.” When I need a good friend, I turn to the people that know how to use this powerful weapon that God gave us.
A praying friend is a good friend. Don’t be the type of friend who says they will pray for someone and then never does. Do it and show them that you care. Offer to pray for them right when it comes up whether it’s in person or over the phone. Follow up with them with an encouraging verse or to let them know that you’re thinking and praying for them. Ask how they are doing and actually listen.
Prayer is one of the greatest ways we can support our friends and should be a part of every relationship.
The Bible tells us to love your neighbor as yourself and to do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. Too often we may grumble or complain that we don’t have people to talk to because nobody reaches out to us.
I moved to San Diego and barely knew anyone and I learned that the best way to make a friend was to be a friend.
Make the first move. Take the initiative and ask someone to hang out and grab coffee.
Offer to pray for someone or help them when they need help. Encourage them and truly listen when they need a friend.
When you sow being there for someone else, you will reap love and friendship in return.
I read the book Love Does by Bob Goff as a new Christian and was so inspired to be a better friend after reading it. Bob helped me realize that love is an action. We can talk about how much we love others all we want but what really matters is expressing our love through faith and through what we do everyday.
As Christians, it is so important to be a part of a local church so we can grow closer to Christ with a community of other believers. Just showing up to church every Sunday without getting involved isn’t going to foster the community of friends or future spouse you are looking for.
It is so important to actively engage with others in the church and get involved. Being planted and involved in the church not only accelerates your spiritual growth but also allows God to orchestrate those divine relationships that you need in this life.
Join a serving or volunteer team and volunteer with others in the church. Join a small group, bible study, or connect group to meet people throughout the week. Whatever your church offers, pick something and actually be a part of it.
Don’t just show up when you feel like it. Show up, engage and show up consistently. Pray for God to guide you to the right group and ask God how you can make a difference and serve others while you are there.
As a leader of a connect group and volunteer team at my church, I see people making the mistake of going to too many things but not really engaging or being a part of one thing consistently.
Did you ever write a resume and list all of the clubs, activities and organizations you were a part of but then you realized you didn’t really actively contribute to anything? That’s not going to help you in real life when you are actually trying to form genuine relationships.
Focus on the impact and contribution you can have in the group and you will see friendships foster over time as you get engaged.
Finding your tribe is so important and you may need to try a few groups before you find the group for you. Once you find a group or volunteer team that speaks to you, make a commitment to be actively involved and engaged.
Encouraging words of affirmation can mean so much to someone. In a world full of opinions, doubts, and lies on social media, speaking God’s truth and encouraging words over others is more important than ever.
Like the Bible tells us in Proverbs 16:24, kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
If you see something positive in someone, tell them. Show appreciation. Complement them just because. Share a bible verse that made you think of them. Kindness and love are contagious. You never know the impact you can have on someone’s day just by sharing a smile and the love God has given you. Sharing encouragement is free and one of the quickest ways to spread love.
Send birthday cards. Celebrate life milestones. Reach out just because. It’s amazing to see how much impact little acts of kindness can have. When I moved to San Diego, I wanted to make sure I was still connected with my friends across the country and was determined not to forget the little things.
I was determined to remember and celebrate birthdays no matter what. So many people tend to forget birthdays nowadays or just resort to writing on someone’s Facebook wall.
Since when did we stop truly celebrating birthdays? It’s one day out a whole year that you can decide to show up and celebrate your friends. Send a birthday card or gift. Pick up the phone and actually sing happy birthday. Send them a funny, cute birthday video lip synching to Kygo and John Legend. Do whatever you need to do to make it special and unique.
When was the last time you texted a friend just to say hi and to catch up? It means so much when you reach out to someone to let them know you were thinking of them and just to see how they are doing.
Don’t be the type of friend that just reaches out to people when you need something from them. Reach out and share the love that God has given you today.
As you’re reading this, God is probably reminding you of the people who have been there holding up your arms supporting you and cheering you on when you needed it most. Give God thanks for bringing these people into your life and then pick up the phone and thank them as well :)
Join my free, 14-day Attracting Your Future Husband Challenge to learn how to pray for yourself and your future husband as you wait on God to bring you together. In this challenge, I share the top bible verses and prayers I prayed as I waited on God to bring me my husband.
This post includes affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This means I may earn a commission from a purchase which helps fund my blog at no extra cost to you.
Join the FREE Attracting Your Future Husband challenge, a 14-day prayer challenge that will help you pray over yourself & your future husband as you wait on God to bring you together