Will I Be Alone Forever? 4 Signs God Wants You to Be SingleJun 10, 2022
How do you know if God wants you to be single forever?
If you’ve been trying to find a husband for years and are still single, you may be wondering, am I going to be single forever?
Does God want me to be single? Will I be alone forever? Am I destined to be single? Or is God punishing me with singleness?
If you want to get married but are not sure if God wants you to be single forever, don’t panic.
God loves marriage, and he does call the majority of people to get married.
But not everyone gets married, so how do you know if God’s will for you is to be single forever?
And what are the signs God wants you to be single forever?
If you’re worried that God has given you the gift of singleness, or if you’re wondering will I be single forever, this blog post is for you.
We will discuss 4 signs God wants you to be single forever, including:
- How to discern whether God wants you to be single forever
- Myths that don’t mean that God is calling you to be alone
- Whether God is punishing you with singleness
- How to accept being alone forever if God is calling you to be single
Am I Going to Be Single forever? 4 Signs God Wants You to Be Single
Below are some signs or indicators that God is calling you to a life of singleness.
Pray and ask God to speak to you as you read through this list.
Only God can tell you for sure if you are going to be single forever, and these signs are meant to be used as a guide to see how God wants to speak to you about each area.
1) God will tell you that you are going to be single forever
If you’ve been praying and asking God, “Will I be single forever?”, the most important way to know if God is calling you to a life of singleness is to ask him and hear what he has to say.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” – Psalm 32:8 NIV
God wants to speak to you and reveal the plans he has for your life, and if you’re worried about being single forever, spend some time in prayer and ask God.
Seek God with a neutral heart
When trying to hear God’s voice, it’s important to pray and position your heart to be open to what God has to say.
If you want to get married so bad and you aren’t willing to accept that marriage isn’t in God’s plans for you, then you may prevent God from speaking to you clearly.
As John & Lisa Bevere discuss in their podcast about hearing God's voice, when trying to hear God speak, having a neutral heart is important to make sure you hear God’s voice clearly.
Asking God to bless your desires or the decision you’ve already made in your heart is not the same as asking God to show you his plans for your life.
For example, a neutral heart says to God, “God, I want to get married but I want your best for my life. I surrender my desire for marriage to you, and I ask that you show me the plans you have for me, and whether marriage is a part of it.”
Someone without a neutral heart may say something like, “God, I want to get married and I want you to bless this decision. Even if it’s not your plan for my life, I’m going to get married one day and I ask for your blessing to meet the right guy.”
If you are tired of being single and have already decided in your heart that you are going to get married no matter what God tells you, then this could prevent you from hearing God's voice as you pray about marriage.
Consider fasting and prayer
If you’ve already been praying and asking God to confirm whether you’re supposed to be single forever, try a period of prayer and fasting.
As you fast, write down any verses or ways that God may be speaking to you.
After the fast, take note if you still have the desire to get married.
If God didn’t confirm his plans for you and marriage directly, pay attention to how your desires may have changed during the fast.
If you no longer have the desire to be married, this may be God telling you that he wants you to be single forever.
But if you still have the desire to get married, don’t give up on this desire just because it hasn’t happened yet.
Pray over your desire for marriage
If you want specific prayers to pray over your desire for marriage and your future husband, join the free, 14-day future husband prayer challenge.
This prayer challenge includes 14 different topics to pray over, and gives God the opportunity to speak to you regarding marriage.
Through this challenge, pray and ask God to confirm whether he has a husband for you.
When I was praying for my future husband, I didn't understand why God wasn't answering my prayers.
But I learned how to trust God with my love life, and God brought me and my husband together.
2) God will give you the desire to be single forever
If you have the desire to get married, does that automatically mean it’s God’s will for you to be married one day?
Not every desire we have is from God, so it’s important to surrender our desires to God in prayer and ask him to show us his desires for our lives.
In Psalm 37:4, it says that God will give us the desires of our heart when we delight in him.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” - Psalm 37:4 NLT
But Psalm 37:4 has become one of the more controversial Bible verses that gets used out of context.
Some Christians argue that God will grant the desires on their heart because he’s a good Heavenly Father, while others argue that God isn’t a magic genie that will grant whatever we wish or ask for.
And some people argue that if they have a desire to do something, then it must be from God.
In Galatians 5:16-26, the Bible talks about the battle between the desires of our flesh, and the desires of the Spirit.
“For the flesh desires what is against the Spirit, and the Spirit desires what is against the flesh; these are opposed to each other, so that you don’t do what you want.” -Galatians 5:17 CSB
The Bible then provides examples of desires of the flesh vs. the Spirit. Desires of the flesh include: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, idolatry, jealousy, envy, drunkenness, and several others.
This is proof that not every desire we have is from God, and that our flesh, or what our body craves, is at war with the desires from the Holy Spirit.
As you pray over the desires on your heart, it’s important to surrender your desires, and ask God to give you his desires for your life.
Surrendering is being willing to give up your desires no matter what the outcome.
It’s asking God to open and close the doors that need to be closed, instead of just asking God to give you what you want.
Surrendering is asking God to show you what he wants for your life, and trusting that he will make it happen.
In Philippians 2:13, it says that God is giving us the power and desire to do what pleases him.
“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” – Philippians 2:13 NLT
As you surrender your desires for marriage to God, you can trust that God will give you the desires he has for your life.
And if you’ve been praying and surrendering your desire to get married to God, and you still have the desire to get married, you can trust that this desire is from God.
Learn more about what being single and waiting on God for a husband looks like.
If God has given you the desire to be single, this is one of the signs God wants you to be single forever.
3) You’ll have peace about being single forever
God often speaks to us through the Holy Spirit through peace.
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” - 1 Corinthians 14:33 ESV
In 2 Corinthians 2:12-13 CSB, Paul shares how he traveled to preach the gospel, and indicates that he was led by the Spirit, “…even though the Lord opened a door for me, I had no rest in my spirit because I did not find my brother Titus.”
If you don’t have peace or rest in your Spirit about being single forever, this may mean that God is not calling you to singleness.
But if you do have peace about being single forever, this may be God trying to tell you that his plan for you is to be single.
4) The calling or ministry that God has for you can be better fulfilled if you’re single
God has a plan for your life, and you were created on purpose for a purpose.
In Ephesians 2:10, it says that you are God’s masterpiece, created to fulfill the works that God prepared for you long ago.
While God does call women to get married and to still serve Him through a job or through ministry, some callings may be better fulfilled if you were single.
Paul refers to singleness as a gift in 1 Corinthians 7, where he says singleness is a gift because you can focus on God without any distractions.
“I wish that all people were as I am. But each has his own gift from God, one person has this gift, another has that.” – 1 Corinthians 7:7 CSB
“The unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But the married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is proper and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.” – 1 Corinthians 7:34-35 CSB
In the Bible, Jesus and Paul were examples of men who served God wholeheartedly without being distracted by marriage.
With Jesus, we see why God would have wanted him to be single, so he could focus on fulfilling the mission that he was called to do—preaching God’s Word, healing the sick, delivering the oppressed, and ultimately sacrificing himself on the cross for our sins.
And with Paul, we can see how his gift of singleness helped him fulfill the call that God on his life, which was to preach the gospel to the Gentiles around the world.
Paul is responsible for writing about 13 books in the Bible in the New Testament, and is known as one of the best evangelists of all time.
While Paul still could have preached the gospel with a wife and family, his gift of singleness allowed him to focus on serving the Lord, and spreading the gospel all over the world.
Now, if God is calling you to be a missionary or to spread the gospel, don’t think that you are called to be single forever just because you have this calling.
You can still be a missionary and spread the gospel when you’re married. But if you’re called to do this, it may be easier to travel the world when you’re single unless your entire family travels along with you.
3 Myths That God Wants You to Be Single Forever
Some people think that they are called to be single forever if they’ve done certain things, or want to do specific things for God with their life.
However, we’ll unpack 3 common myths that make people believe that they are called to be single, and why these myths don’t automatically mean that God is calling you to a life of singleness.
If you can relate to one of these myths below, these are not signs God wants you to be single forever.
Myth 1 – If you’re past a certain age, then God wants you to be single forever
If you’re single and older than 30, you may be wondering, am I going to be single forever?
God’s promises are not defined by age. Even though you had planned to be married by now, just because it hasn’t happened yet doesn’t mean it’s not part of God’s plan for you.
I love how Christian authors and speakers Lisa Harper & Annie F. Downs share their journeys about being single at an older age.
In her Q&A podcast about singleness, I admire how Annie F. Downs says we should never stop believing for something just because it hasn't happened yet.
And in this interview with Lisa Harper, Lisa shares how she has not given up on her desire to be married, even though she is 58 years old at the time this blog post is written.
If you have the desire to get married and you’ve surrendered your desires to God through prayer, I don’t think you should stop believing for a husband just because you’re getting older.
And while you may be past the age to have kids, don’t let that convince you that you’re not supposed to get married.
God’s timing is hard to understand sometimes, but his perfect plan and timing for you to get married may be when you are older.
“Dear friends, don’t overlook this one fact: With the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. The Lord does not delay his promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish but all to come to repentance.” – 2 Peter 3:8-9
And if you do get married at an age older than you wanted, choose to believe that it is for God’s glory and that it is God’s perfect timing.
Myth 2 – If you want to be a pastor or minister, you have to be single
I grew up in the Catholic church, where priests and nuns were not allowed to be married.
At the time, it made sense since that’s all I was used to.
But when I started going to non-denominational churches and reading the Bible, I realized that God does not prohibit pastors or ministers from getting married or having families.
Rather, based on examples of pastors and priests in the Bible, God shows us that he encouraged them to be married and have families.
For example, in Exodus 28, Aaron was selected as one of the first priests, along with his sons. Aaron was married and had a family, and God used his sons to carry on the legacy of the priesthood throughout their family line.
In 1 Timothy 3, when talking about overseers and deacons of the Church, it mentions the leaders’ responsibility to be faithful to one wife and to manage his household and children with dignity.
If you are called to become a pastor or be a leader in ministry, don’t think that you have to be single just because you want to be a minister.
Myth 3 – If you’ve been divorced, this means that God wants you to be single
God makes it clear in the Bible that he hates divorce, and divorce is considered a sin when people get divorced in some circumstances.
Some women may feel that since they’ve gotten a divorce, that they have to face the consequence or punishment and be single forever.
The scripture that causes a lot of debate about whether it’s okay to get remarried after divorce is found in Matthew 5.
“But I tell you, everyone who divorces his wife, except in a case of sexual immorality, causes her to commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” – Matthew 5:32 CSB
Based on this scripture, some people believe that if someone remarries a divorced woman, then it is considered adultery and would be another sin.
However, God is a God of grace, and the Bible tells us that he forgives our sins and does not hold our sins against us.
“He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases.” – Psalm 103:3 NLT
“And I will forgive their wickedness, and I will never again remember their sins.” – Hebrews 8:12 NLT
In Psalm 103, it also says that God does not punish us for all our sins or deal harshly with us as we deserve.
So even if someone feels like they disobeyed God by getting a divorce, I do not believe that this means that God will punish them by being single forever or that it is a sin to get remarried.
While some people who have gotten divorced may remain single, just because someone has been divorced doesn’t mean that they are sinning by getting remarried.
If you’ve been divorced and are worried about being single forever, pray and ask God to show you if his plans for you include getting remarried.
How to Accept Being Alone Forever
Will I be alone forever?
If you feel like God is calling you to be alone forever, you have to choose to believe and trust that God’s plans for you are better than marriage.
While it may seem hard to imagine what your life will be like single, God’s ways are higher than you could understand.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” – Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT
We are also called to be content with God, no matter what the circumstances.
In Philippians 4, Paul talks about the secret to being content.
“I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I find myself. I know how to make do with little, and I know how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through him who strengthens me.” – Philippians 4:11-13 CSB
While having the desire for marriage is not a bad thing, we are called to be content, even if God calls us to be single, through our love for Jesus alone.
God has a unique plan and purpose for your life, and wants to use you for his glory in this world.
If God has given you the gift of singleness forever, trust that God is going to use your life to reach more people and make an impact than you could ever imagine.
Your ability to be used by God does not depend on whether you are single and married.
Let Paul serve as an example of how much a single person can accomplish for God’s glory in this world.
Is God Punishing Me with Singleness?
If you are single and want to get married, it can be tempting to wonder if God is punishing you with singleness.
While we do have to face the consequences of our sins, God is also faithful to forgive and restore our sins.
“He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” – Psalm 103:10-12 NLT
God does not punish us as our sins deserve.
If you’re worried that God is punishing you with singleness based on something you did in the past, confess your sins and forgive yourself.
Choose to accept God’s grace, and pray and ask him for the opportunity to get married, despite your past.
Since God promises to forgive our sins, this is why I think that you can still get remarried even after a divorce.
Still Not Sure If God Wants You to Be Single Forever?
I pray and believe that God will confirm whether he is calling you to get married one day.
If you’re still not sure if God wants you to be single forever, pray and seek God’s will in more detail in the free, 14-day future husband prayer challenge.
In the challenge, you’ll get 14 days of devotions, scriptures, and prayers to pray over yourself and your future husband.
The challenge brings up several different topics as you think about marriage, and gives God an opportunity to speak to you.
Erin Elise Kiu