What Does Being Single and Waiting on God for a Husband Actually Look Like?Jan 28, 2022
Everyone talks about putting your trust in God or waiting on God for a spouse, but how do you wait on God to send you a husband?
Are you supposed to just pray and wait for God to send you a man?
When I was single, it seemed like I was waiting for God to send me a husband while everyone else around me was getting married.
And everyone kept telling me to trust and wait on God, but what does waiting on God for a husband actually look like?
In this blog post, we’ll talk about how to wait on God for a husband and what to do while waiting on God for a husband, including:
- My waiting on God for a husband testimony
- How to avoid settling when waiting on God for a spouse
- What waiting for God’s timing for a husband looks like
- How to step out in faith when you are single and waiting on God
- The importance of obeying God’s commands as you wait
- What to focus on while you wait for God to move
My Waiting on God for a Husband Testimony
Before we talk about how to wait on God for a husband, I want to share my testimony of how I waited on God for my husband, because girl, I’ve been where you are right now and I know it’s hard.
Waiting on God to bring you a spouse is NOT easy, especially when your prayers go unanswered for months, or even years.
He is faithful. He brought me my husband, and I believe he is working right now to bring you and your husband together.
I share more about my waiting on God for a husband testimony in how to trust God with your love life, but basically, I waited an entire year for my husband to ask me out.
I started to like this guy at church who was on my volunteer team, so I started praying for God to confirm if he was the one, but nothing was happening.
Some days it seemed like this guy could be interested in me, but other days he wouldn’t even pay me any attention.
I left church some days in tears, frustrated that I liked a guy that wasn’t even talking to me.
I prayed and asked God to take away my desires for this man if he wasn’t the one, and I kept telling God that he was in control.
Some of my friends suggested that I ask him out for coffee, but I felt the Holy Spirit telling me not to ask him out.
I believe that the guy should be the one to ask a girl out, and God kept telling me to wait and not to force things.
But after nine months of liking this guy, I almost gave up. I told God I was sick of liking him when clearly, he wasn’t interested.
I had a ‘full surrender to God moment’, where I surrendered all my frustrations and heart to God, and where I stopped trying to do anything to see or talk to this guy. Inside, I was grieving the loss of a dream I had had for so long with this guy, and I was losing hope and started to believe that he wasn’t the one.
But a few months later, things started to shift. This guy started talking to me more, and he was a lot nicer. And at our volunteer team Christmas party, it was like God opened his eyes and showed him who I was.
He started asking me all these really good, personal questions to get to know me, and he even walked me to my car that night.
I talk more about how I knew he was the one, but long story short, we went on our first date a few weeks later, and about nine months later, we got married.
So yes, I waited AN ENTIRE YEAR for my husband to ask me out, and then we got married NINE MONTHS LATER.
When God moves, he really moves.
I pray my story encourages you today if you’ve been waiting for a husband for what seems like forever.
Okay so let’s move on, wondering what to do while waiting on God for a husband? Or how to wait on God for a husband?
Here are 8 things to do when you’re single and waiting for God to send you a husband.
Single and waiting on God for a spouse = Surrendering your desires for a husband to God
In order to wait on God for a husband, you have to be able to trust that God is in control.
God already knows the person you are going to marry one day, and he knows that who you marry is a big deal.
He doesn’t want you to end up with the wrong man, and whether you believe it right now or not, God is doing everything he can to bring you and your spouse together.
Surrendering your desires to God is a position of your heart, knowing and believing that God knows what is best for you.
The Bible tells us in Matthew 6 that God wants us to seek Him first, and that he will provide our every need.
"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." Matthew 6:33
God tells us not to worry, because he knows what we need and that he will provide it.
And when you surrender your desire for marriage to God, you’ll experience peace, knowing that God is in control.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.” – Isaiah 26:3-4
The more you focus and put your trust in God, the more peace you’ll have as you wait for your future spouse.
You can relax because you have a God who wants to be your matchmaker and who wants to write your love story.
But the question is, will you let him? Will you let God do his job and show you the man you are supposed to be with?
Surrendering is acknowledging that God knows best, and that he is control. And it means letting go of your own desires and time table.
If you want to trust God more with your future spouse, join my free, 14-day future husband prayer challenge.
The challenge includes 14 days of scriptures, devotions, and prayers to pray over yourself and your future husband.
It's been amazing to see how God has already encouraged so many women through the challenge, and I pray it also encourages you in this season.
A Prayer to Surrender Your Desire for a Husband to God
If you’ve been struggling to trust God with your husband, or if you’ve never surrendered your love life to God before, pray the prayer below and believe in your heart that God hears you.
God, I thank you that you are writing my love story. I surrender my desires for marriage to you, and I trust that you are in control. I surrender the need to do things my way, and I put my trust in you. You know what’s best for me, and you know what type of man I need. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Waiting for God to send me a husband = Refusing to settle
Waiting on God means refusing to settle for anyone who is less than God’s best.
It means refusing to settle for anyone that you know isn’t a good influence, or who doesn’t deserve you.
And waiting on God for a spouse means refusing to settle for anyone who isn’t equally yoked with you, or on the same page spiritually.
The Devil tries to convince us to settle because he wants us to miss out on experiencing God’s best for our life.
He is the father of lies, and the Devil will try and get us to believe that we aren’t good enough, or finding a man of God is never going to happen.
So people end up settling for someone because they are sick of waiting, or because they started to believe that they wouldn’t get anyone better.
But God tells us how to stand strong against these lies.
"A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil." Ephesians 6:10-11
When we are tempted to settle, we have to remember to stand strong against the lies of the Enemy.
But how do you make sure you don’t settle as you wait on God for a spouse?
Reminding yourself of who God is by reading and declaring what his promises say in the Bible.
God is not a settling God. Nowhere in the Bible does it say he wants you to settle.
He wants you to have faith and trust in Him, trusting God to bring you the best he has for you.
Settling never fulfills us in the long run. While settling may provide short-term relief, we will experience dissatisfaction in the long run by missing out on God’s best for our life.
Hang out with people that won’t let you settle. Make friends with people who will have the guts to tell you that a guy isn’t good enough for you.
Fill yourself with faith and encouragement by reading Christian dating books that will remind you that God is faithful, and that you don't need to settle.
If you do not want to settle for a man who isn’t the one that God has for you, say this out loud.
God, I will not settle. I refuse to settle for anyone who is less than your best. I will stand strong against the lies of the Enemy, and I will reject every lie that does not line up with your Word. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Waiting for God’s Timing for a Husband = Trusting his timing above your own
A big aspect of waiting on God for a husband is trusting God’s timing.
If you are single reading this, you are probably thinking, ‘Um, I’m ready for my husband now, what’s the hold up God? Why is God making me wait so long? I’ve been waiting for God to send me a husband for years!’
And trust me girl, I know how you feel. I was single for the majority of my twenties, and like I said above in my waiting on God for a husband testimony, I waited an ENTIRE YEAR for my husband to ask me out.
At the time, I didn’t know why I was waiting so long, but once we started dating, I better understood God’s timing and why he wanted us to wait.
God tells us that his ways are higher than our ways, and we may not always understand why God’s ways or timing is better.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” - Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV
God uses seasons of waiting to build our faith and trust in Him, but it usually isn’t the only reason.
When I was waiting for God to confirm and show me signs that my husband was the one, God was working in both of us to better prepare us for a relationship.
At the time, I was a newer Christian, and I was still learning how to overcome my sexual past and resist temptation. And I was still developing my relationship with God, and learning how to rely on Him.
During this year of waiting, God was also working in my husband’s life.
My husband was so sure his future wife was blonde. At this point, my husband had had a relationship with God for about five years, so he had been praying for his future wife for some time.
But God showed him that he was idolizing the idea of marrying a blonde woman.
God finally convicted him and showed him that he had to surrender this idea or preference of marrying a blonde.
And at first, my husband that he didn’t consider me as someone he could date because I wasn’t blonde. (I’m a brunette).
God was also moving in my husband’s career. My husband went through a big transition at work where he moved into a new role, and it caused him a lot of anxiety and stress before he realized that it was the right move.
At the time, I even noticed my husband had seemed more quiet, distant, and less chatty than usual. Of course, I thought it had to do with me, like oh, he didn’t say hi to me today, maybe he really isn’t interested.
But the truth was that he was going through a hard season at work, and the weight of that decision weighed him down.
You never know how God is working in your life, or your future husband’s life, to prepare both of you to be ready to start dating.
Waiting on God for a spouse = Stepping out in faith to meet single men
Waiting on God for a spouse does not mean you just pray and sit around, expecting your husband to show up at your doorstep.
Just like anything we are believing for in life, God calls us to show our faith in our actions. In James 2, the Bible says that faith without works is dead.
“What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone?” – James 2:14 NLT
“So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless. Now someone may argue, “Some people have faith; others have good deeds.” But I say, “How can you show me your faith if you don’t have good deeds? I will show you my faith by my good deeds.” – James 2:17-18 NLT
I want you to be honest here. Are you playing an active role in the dating process? Or are you expecting your husband to just show up one day?
The key with stepping out in faith is having the courage to step out, and letting God guide you.
Have you ever heard the expression that God can’t steer a parked car?
It's like when we are driving and are listening to the GPS for direction, the GPS will guide us once we get moving, and will continue to guide us when we need it.
God wants us to step out in faith, trusting him that he will guide us.
But it takes us stepping out first, before God will guide us and give us the next step.
When it comes to dating, pray and ask God how you can put yourself out there to meet other single men and where you'll meet your husband.
Maybe this means joining a connect group at church. Or joining a new volunteer team.
Or maybe God is putting it on your heart to pursue online dating.
If you want to know the 10 best places most women find their husband, check out how to find a husband and ask God to show you if you should pursue something in particular.
Does this mean you are limited to meeting your spouse at church?
You don’t have to date someone that goes to your church, but you have a good chance of meeting other Christian men at church.
And keep in mind, just because a guy goes to church doesn’t mean they have a strong relationship with God, or that you’ll be equally yoked.
But really, you could meet your husband anywhere at any time.
Even if your husband is a regular church goer, he does other things just like you.
He goes to the grocery store. He goes out to eat. He could go to the gym, or be running along the beach.
Pray and consider what new things or activities you can try to put yourself out there and start meeting other eligible, single men.
If you feel like you are stuck in your dating life or need some more practical steps on how to go on more dates, check out Henry Cloud’s book, How to Get a Date Worth Keeping.
I’ve been reading this book with a friend, and it’s been amazing to see how God has showed her all the areas that she hasn’t been stepping out in faith.
She thought she had been trusting God to bring her a husband, but she wasn’t doing anything to be active in the dating process.
Single and waiting on God for a husband = Praying persistently and declaring God’s Word
God calls us to pray about everything, and prayer is a powerful way you can support your future husband before you even meet him.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7 NLT
When you surrender your worries and desires for a husband to God through prayer, you’ll feel more peace that God is in control.
Praying for your future husband will also bring you closer to God as you wait for your spouse.
You never know how God is working in your future husband, and you can support your future spouse now by praying for him.
If you want to learn how to pray for your future husband, check out these prayers for your future husband.
And if you’ve been single and waiting on God for your husband for a while and want to be even more intentional about praying for your spouse, check out my free, 14-day future husband prayer challenge.
Waiting on God for a husband = Refusing to give up
I don’t know how long you’ve been waiting on God for a husband, but the biggest commitment you can make to yourself and your future husband is to not give up.
No matter how frustrated or impatient you get, make the decision to not give up.
God is faithful, and if he’s given you the desire for marriage, trust that he will make it happen.
“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” – Galatians 6:9 NLT
God also tells us that as we seek Him, he will give us his desires for our life and that he will grant the desires on your heart.
“For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” – Philippians 2:13
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” - Psalm 37:4
Keep surrendering your desires to God and trust that if you have a desire to get married, that God will make it happen.
As I shared above in my waiting on God for a husband testimony, I wanted to give up several times when I waited an entire year for my husband to ask me out, but I couldn’t ignore the desires I still had on my heart.
And every time I came to God in tears, he would remind me to keep declaring his promises in his Word.
I don’t know how many times I prayed and declared Psalm 37:4 as I prayed about the desires I had for my husband.
God is faithful—when he makes a promise in his Word, he keeps it.
I know how hard it is to wait and not give up, which is why I created these scripture cards for single women to pray and declare when you are tempted to give up.
These are the same Bible verses and prayers that I prayed that gave me hope when I needed it most.
If you want to be reminded that God is faithful, and that his promises will come to pass in your life, grab a set of scripture cards and start declaring his Word over yourself today.
Single and waiting on God for a spouse= Obeying God’s commands
A big part of being single and waiting on God for a husband is obeying God’s commands when dating.
If you trust someone, you’ll listen to them and do what they say right?
God wants us to trust him and that he knows what’s best, and that starts with obeying his commands in the Bible.
“Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” – 1 John 5:3
The commands in the Bible are not meant to be a burden—they are meant to protect us because God knows what is best.
We show that we trust God when we obey Him, but also we show our love for Him.
You may have already noticed that the Bible doesn’t have a lot to say about dating, but it does have a lot to say about who we should marry, and whether we should have sex before marriage.
I almost didn’t choose to follow Jesus because I didn’t want to stop having sex, but God showed me that my sexual lifestyle was preventing me from the life and future husband that I wanted.
The Bible also talks about only dating or marrying someone who loves the Lord.
For the longest time, I didn’t think it was a big deal to date a guy who wasn’t a Christian or someone who didn’t have a relationship with God, but God showed me why being equally yoked in dating is so important.
And God showed me that dating or marrying someone who doesn’t have a relationship with God is actually a sin.
When waiting on God for a husband, it’s also important obey what God tells you to do specifically.
If God tells you not to date someone, you should listen.
If he tells you not to go on the dating apps, listen to him.
God knows what’s best for us, and his commands are meant to protect and guide us for our own good.
I experienced the consequences of trying to do things my way for far too long, but once I made the decision to obey God’s ways, that’s when I saw a shift in my life.
If you are struggling to surrender sex to God, or want to learn more about why waiting until marriage is important to God, check out these best purity books for women.
Waiting on God for a spouse = Focusing on all that God is doing in your life
As you pray and wait on God to send you a husband, it’s important to understand that your single life matters now.
It’s important to focus on God and all that he’s called you to as a single woman instead of obsessing over meeting your future husband.
Your life doesn’t start when you get married – you have purpose right now and God wants you to get moving.
Pray and consider what God has called you to in this season. And ask yourself, am I being faithful with what God has called me to do as a single woman?
"Whoever is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and whoever is unrighteous in very little is also unrighteous in much.” – Luke 16:10
When you are single and waiting on God for a husband, focusing on all that God has put in front of you is one of the best ways to wait on God in this season.
Maybe you are called to focus on work or school in this season.
Or maybe God is calling you to invest in building friendships with other women around you, or spending more time with your family.
Perhaps God is raising you up to be a leader at church, and maybe he wants you to serve on a volunteer team or lead a women’s group.
Waiting on God means doing the things that God has already called you to do in this season.
If you aren’t faithful to what God has already called you to do, what makes God think you’ll be faithful with a boyfriend?
God called me out on this right before I started dating my husband.
A few months before my husband asked me out, God called me to start writing a book. He called me to share my testimony of how Jesus transformed my life, and how God set me free from the party and casual hookup scene.
So I started writing One Transforming Love, but I wasn’t making it a priority because I was still a bit fearful on how to start writing.
When my husband started talking to me, my friend had a dream about me where I was talking about having Asian babies with the guy I liked (my husband is Asian), but I wasn’t paying attention to a baby that God had already given me.
God showed me that the baby I was neglecting was actually my book, and he was telling me that my dream for Asian babies would come, but that I needed to be more faithful with writing the book.
Your single life matters, and God wants to use you for a specific purpose in this season. You can still pray for your future husband as you serve God and the others around you.
Single and Waiting on God for a Husband?
If you’re single and waiting on God for a spouse, join my free, 14-day attract your future husband prayer challenge to renew your hope that God is writing your love story.
And check out my full waiting on God for a husband testimony as I share more about how I trusted God with my love life.