I’m Tired of Being Single – 12 Things to Do When You’re Tired of Being SingleMay 06, 2022
If you’re tired of being single, you know that singleness is not always fun or easy.
Maybe you’ve been dating and trying to find your future husband for a while now, or maybe you’re single but not sure where to start.
If you’re tired of being single, you aren’t alone my friend.
And if you’ve been saying to yourself, “God, I’m tired of being single”, you’re in the right place.
In this blog post, we will discuss what to do when you are tired of being single, including:
- Things to focus on when you are sick of being single
- What NOT to do when you are tired of being single
- Bible verses & prayers for when you are tired of singleness
12 Things to Focus on When You’re Tired of Being Single
If you’re tired of being single, you’re probably wondering what else you can do to meet your future spouse.
Or maybe you are so tired of being single, that you’re wondering if you should take a break from dating altogether, and focus on something else in this season.
Below are some things to focus on as you consider dating and meeting other single men, as well as other things to focus on when you’re single to make the most out of this season.
As you read through this list, pray and ask God to show you what you should focus on in this season.
1) Put yourself out there to meet more single men
Part of dating and finding a husband is putting yourself out there to meet other single men.
If you’re saying, “I’m tired of being single”, but you aren’t meeting any new men, then it’s time to get moving.
God isn’t going to deliver your husband to your doorstep (unless he’s the Amazon delivery guy), and part of trusting God with your future husband is stepping out in faith to see how you can meet more men.
Pray and ask God if there is anything you need to pursue to meet your spouse.
Maybe it’s time to download an online dating app, or maybe God wants you to check out a new church in your city.
Or maybe it’s time to join a new meetup in your city, like a hiking group or trying a new cooking class.
If you’re not sure how to meet other men in your city, check out how to find a husband for the 10 best places most couples meet.
2) Consider dating someone who isn’t your usual physical “type”
We live in a world where most people choose who they date based on their external appearance alone, which is not helping singles get married.
And when people rely on physical appearances to determine who they will date, they start to only date a certain “type” of people, and won’t consider going out with a guy who isn’t their “type”.
For example, my husband was convinced that he would marry a blonde, and he didn’t consider dating someone who wasn’t blonde for years.
But as he prayed for his future wife, God showed him that he had been idolizing this physical trait in a woman.
And God woke him up and showed him that I was his future wife. We had met an entire year prior, but because I was a brunette, he didn’t consider that I could be the one.
While attraction is important in a relationship, attraction can grow over time, and you may be more attracted to someone once you get to know them and see their heart.
Consider dating someone who isn’t your typical type, and see what happens.
3) Be open to dating someone who doesn’t check all the boxes on “the list”
In the dating world, certain traits, qualities, or characteristics that you want in a spouse are also known as "the list."
It’s good to know the qualities that you are looking for in a husband, but if you have a list of qualities and preferences that you compare every guy to, this may be preventing you from finding a husband.
There’s a difference between being too picky, and knowing what you deserve in a spouse.
When making your list, it's important to differentiate between your non-negotiables, and your preferences.
Non-negotiables are also known as deal breakers, where if the guy doesn't have these qualities, then he's not the one.
For example, if he's not open to pursuing God, this would be a non-negotiable or a deal breaker.
Or if you're a mom and have kids, and you meet a guy who doesn't want kids, this could be another non-negotiable on your list.
Preferences on the other hand are qualities or traits you would like in a husband, but shouldn't automatically cause you to turn a guy down.
For example, let's say you want a guy who is at least 6 feet tall, has a certain type of job, and loves to work out.
While these are all wonderful traits to desire in a man, these preferences shouldn't automatically cause you to reject someone if they don't possess these qualities.
If you won’t consider dating someone who doesn’t meet all the criteria on your list, this could be preventing you from meeting your future husband.
With a list, you have to give God room to move.
The man God has for you may be different than what you expected, and the list of qualities you are believing for shouldn't hold you back from dating the man he has for you.
4) Learn how to date in a healthy and godly way
If you’re tired of being single, are you following the world’s approach to dating, or are you following God’s approach?
A lot of the dating advice that the world tells you will not help you find the loving husband that you’ve been praying for.
Sleeping with a guy does not mean that he will love you, and it doesn’t even mean he will want to be in a serious relationship.
When I was tired of being single, God showed me that I had been approaching love, sex, and dating all wrong.
I had followed the popular dating advice from women’s magazines and movies, but this did not work.
After I decided to obey God when it came to dating, he brought me a husband who was better than I could have ever prayed for or imagined.
If you’re sick of the hookup culture, the dating games, and men who don’t respect you, it’s time to break up with the world’s method of dating, and give God’s way a shot.
5) Focus on attracting the man you want to date
If you’re tired of being single and you always attract the wrong kind of men, it’s time for a self-assessment.
Have you ever heard the saying, you attract what you put out? Or you attract what you are?
If you’ve been praying for a godly man, but you keep attracting the wrong kind of men, consider if you need to make some changes with your lifestyle or how you act.
For example, when I first started praying for a husband, I was still going out to the bars, and wearing the same revealing outfits that I had always worn.
While I wanted a guy that was different, a man who loved God and who would want to date me instead of just hook up with me, I was still attracting the wrong kind of guys because I was still acting like a woman of the world.
I wanted a guy to respect my body, but I wasn’t showing it by how I dressed.
And I was trying to find a decent guy, but I kept going to bars where all men wanted to do was get drunk and sleep around.
If you’ve been attracting the wrong kind of men, consider the following:
- Wearing less revealing clothing when you go out
- Switching up the places you go to meet men
- The behavior you’ve been accepting from men
- Being more intentional to see if a guy has a relationship with God
6) Put your trust in God for your future husband
If you’re tired of being single and want to meet your future husband, it’s time to put your trust in the One who already knows who you are going to marry.
God already knows who your future husband is, and when you decide to trust God instead of forcing things to happen on your own, you may experience the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for.
When I was sick of being single, I started seeking God more because I figured that finding a husband would take a miracle.
I had lived in Chicago, a city with millions of people, and I had done the whole online dating thing, but I still couldn’t find a man.
I figured God was worth a shot if he could help me find a husband. And he did.
Once I surrendered my entire life, including my love life to God, that’s when I started to see things shift.
While I still had a season of waiting before my husband asked me out, I learned to let God guide me in the dating process, and how not to make things happen in my own strength.
If you're not sure what it means to trust and wait on God for a husband, join the free, 14-day future husband prayer challenge for 14 days of devotions, prayers, & scriptures that will help you put your trust in God.
7) Plant yourself in community
If you’re tired of being single, you probably have experienced days or seasons of loneliness where you are sick of feeling single and lonely.
As you wait on God to show you the man he has for you, focus on planting yourself in a local church and building community.
We were not created to do this life alone, and building friendships as a single woman is a must if you want to have a loving community around you.
8) Focus on your purpose as a single woman in this season
Singleness is not a season to be wasted. It’s a season to be faithful where God has you.
Your life matters now as a single woman, and God has a unique purpose for your life in this season.
Maybe it’s your work, school, or serving at church. Maybe it’s time to step out to write that book, start that women’s group, or to apply for that promotion at work.
What has God called you to focus on in this season? How can you be more faithful to what God has put in front of you in this season?
When I was single, God called me to travel a lot for work, and put it on my heart to share my testimony in my first book, One Transforming Love.
As I waited on God to answer my prayers for my husband, God showed me that I needed to focus on what he had already called me to do.
As you wait on God for a husband, you can trust that you have purpose right now as a single woman, and this season if singleness is not wasted.
9) Focus on what you do have, not what you don’t
When you start to focus on what you don’t have, like a spouse, you can start to feel bitter or resentful about being single.
And when feelings of bitterness or jealousy take over, your heart starts to harden against God and the possibility of finding someone.
Focusing on the relationship or marriage that others have can also breed feelings of comparison and jealousy.
The more you focus on what you do have, the more gratitude and joy you’ll have in this season.
Make a list of all of the things in your life that you are grateful for in this season. Remind yourself of how God has moved in your life in the past.
If God brought all these blessings into your life in the past, believe that he can bring you a spouse.
10) Ask God to show you any areas you need to work on
Have you ever asked yourself, “why am I still single?”
Some people argue that if you’re single, there is nothing wrong with you, and that you haven’t found the right person yet.
Instead of asking God what’s wrong with you, ask him to reveal any areas that you need to work on before you enter into a relationship.
Maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship, but you aren’t sure what is holding you back.
If you’ve been single for a while, ask yourself if you have any feelings of bitterness, envy, or resentment in your heart.
Or if you’ve been hurt from men in the past, ask yourself if you have any unforgiveness that needs to be dealt with.
If you’re not sure if you’re ready for a relationship, check out signs you aren’t ready for a relationship.
11) Work on healing & freedom from the past
As you consider if you’re ready for a relationship, ask yourself, “is there anything from my past that is holding me back from the relationship that I want?”
If you’re tired of being single, pray and consider if there are any parts of your past that you need to work on.
Consider if you need healing or freedom from any of the following:
- Healing from a past relationship
- Forgiving an ex or men who have hurt you in the past
- Breaking ungodly soul ties from past relationships
- Getting freedom from demons that are holding you back, like lust, perversion or fear
If you haven’t healed from the pain or trauma from your past, it’s going to be hard to be ready for a healthy relationship.
The only way to heal and move on from the past is to deal with the pain, and to let God heal your broken heart.
When people don’t heal from the past, they try and rush into a new relationship, thinking that they will be fine, but they end up having problems in their next relationship.
If you haven’t healed from the past or worked through strongholds or demons that held you back, spend time in this season getting the healing and freedom that you need so that you are ready for the man that God has for you.
12) Spend time praying for your future spouse
Time spent in prayer is never wasted. God does hear your prayers, and he has not forgotten about your desire for marriage.
If you need more prayers for your future husband, or if you’re not sure how to pray for your future spouse, join the free, 14-day future husband prayer challenge.
You’ll get 14 days of devotions, prayers, and scriptures to pray over yourself & your future husband as you wait on God to bring the two of you together.
What NOT to Do When You’re Tired of Being Single
No matter how tired you are of being single, refuse to do these 5 things below.
1) Settle for someone who isn’t God’s best for you
Settling in a relationship just because you’re tired of being single will not make you happy in the long run.
If you know a guy isn’t good for you, or if you know you’re not really into him, don’t stay in the relationship because you don’t want to be alone.
Every day you stay with the wrong person delays the right guy from coming into your life.
Refuse to settle, and choose to wait for God’s best.
If you’re not sure if you’re settling in a relationship, check out these signs you are settling in a relationship.
2) Get back with your ex
If your ex or a guy from your past hits you up and you’re feeling lonely, don’t give in.
The Enemy loves to tempt us when we are lonely or vulnerable, but you don’t need to fall for this trap.
If an ex comes back into your life, spend time in prayer considering if you’re meant to get back together.
Remember why you broke up in the first place, and ask yourself if you miss your ex, or if you just miss being in a relationship.
Unless God has made it clear that you should get back together with your ex, don’t do it.
3) Isolate by yourself and stay at home
When you’re tired of being single and lonely, isolating yourself at home is not healthy.
You were not meant to do this life alone, and it’s so important to surround yourself in community, especially when you feel lonely and single.
The Devil wants people to isolate because they are easy to manipulate and take out.
And isolation can only bring more loneliness, depression, and feelings of unworthiness.
When you find a local church and start showing up in community, you’ll realize how loved and special you are.
4) Sleep with someone in hopes they will want to date you
Sex by itself does not equal love. And having sex with someone thinking that they will want to date you does not end well.
When you sleep around, hoping that a guy will love you if you have sex with him, this only creates more heartbreak, pain, and ungodly soul ties that leave you feeling more single and alone.
No matter how lonely you feel, don’t sleep with someone thinking that it will make you feel better.
5) Give up on finding a spouse altogether
If you’ve been single for a while, you may be tempted to give up on finding a spouse altogether, or maybe you think that God is calling you to be single forever.
While God does call some people to be single forever, don’t give up just because you’re sick of waiting.
If God has called you to be single for life, trust that he will confirm that this is his plan for your life.
If you’ve been surrendering your desire for marriage to God, and have been walking in his ways, trust that God will give you the desires he has for your life.
And if you still have the desire to be married, don’t give up just because it hasn’t happened yet.
Prayers & Bible Verses to Pray When You’re Tired of Being Single
Instead of saying, “God, I’m tired of being single,”, pray these Bible verses below.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV
God, your ways are higher than my ways. Even though I don’t understand why I’m still single, I choose to put my trust in you, and I choose to believe that your plans and timing are perfect. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” - Matthew 6:33 NLT
God, you are my provider and you know what I need. As I seek you first, I trust that you will give me everything I need, including my future husband. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” – Psalm 37:4 NLT
God, I surrender my desire for marriage to you. Thank you for giving me the desires you have for my life. If something is not your will God, let me know. Thank you for confirming the desires on my heart. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” – Galatians 6:9 NLT
God, I will not give up believing that you have someone out there for me. I put my trust in you, and I believe that I will reap a harvest if I don’t give up. In Jesus’ name, Amen.