Did you know that God wants to use you as an ambassador of Christ when you are single or dating? If you are single and ready to mingle in the dating scene, this post is for you.
As a daughter of God, you are an ambassador of Christ. You are on an assignment from God to represent the hands and feet of Jesus wherever you go.
"Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God." - 2 Corinthians 5:20 NASB
Think of yourself as an undercover woman of faith who carries the most deadliest weapon inside of you wherever you go, the power and love of Jesus.
There are so many people around you every day that don’t know Jesus. As you continue to grow in Christ and in the power of the Holy Spirit that lives in you, God will open your eyes and heart to spread the love and truth of Jesus to specific people around you.
God wants to use you to reach certain people at your workplace, school, neighbors down the hall, the cashier at the grocery store, the barista at the coffee shop, the waitress at your favorite café, your Uber driver… the places that God wants to use you to spread the love and truth of Jesus are endless.
As a single woman, God even wants to use you to represent Jesus to men that you meet and to men that you date. Yes, you are even called to be an ambassador of Christ on dates!
In a world and culture that continues to celebrate casual sex and dating in a way that is not in line with God’s word, it is more important than ever as a single Christian woman to imitate Christ and to stand up for God’s truth in the dating world.
It’s more important than ever to take a stand and to show others around you that beautiful, holy women do exist and that it is possible to date in a way that honors God.
When I surrendered my life to God, he taught me how to navigate dating and interacting with men in a way that would honor him as a single woman. Before God, I mostly dated other men that were nonbelievers, or men who didn’t have a relationship with God.
Once I was saved, he quickly showed me how important it was to date other believers but I kept meeting other nonbelievers all around me.
I kept meeting other men that didn’t have a relationship with God and God made it pretty clear that as a single Christian woman, I had a role to be an ambassador of Christ to these men and to share the love and truth of Jesus.
Since these men didn’t know God, I knew I wasn’t going to date them but I also knew I had a responsibility to share my faith and the love of Jesus. So I brought up Jesus whenever I could to any men that would initiate a conversation with me. At the beach. At the coffee shop. On the airplane. At work. At the bar. In line at the grocery store.
God kept bringing nonbelievers in my path so often that I had to go back to ask about Jesus if he didn't come up. One time I ended a conversation with a guy on the beach and the Holy Spirit reminded me that I hadn’t talked about Jesus. I started to walk away but it felt wrong. I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me, telling me to go back.
At first I felt silly going back to talk about Jesus but then I remembered a sermon from my pastor about being bold when we spread the gospel.
Whenever we wonder what we have to lose by sharing the gospel, we are asking the wrong question.
The question isn’t, ‘What do we have to lose?’ The real question is, ‘What do they have to lose if we don’t share the gospel with them?’
When you put it this way, you realize that their life and eternity in heaven are at stake. They could lose their life if we don’t share the truth and love of Jesus with them.
So I turned around and went back. As I approached the guy sitting on his beach towel, it’s like the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see that he was wearing a cross around his neck. I told him that I had to come back and ask him if he had found a new church. That something inside of me told me to go back especially since he had just moved to San Diego and since he was wearing a cross.
We ended up talking about Jesus and church for 30 minutes and I had an opportunity to pray for him and invite him to church. And he did eventually come to church and even went to men’s prayer!
Another time I was at a bar when a guy came up to me. As I talk about in my blog post, Single and Ready to Mingle: How to Bring Jesus into Any Conversation, I always asked open-ended questions to see if the guy knew Jesus. I always made a point to turn meaningless bar conversation into conversation that really mattered.
After this conversation with the guy in the bar where I ended up talking about my faith and love for Jesus, the guy just stared at me and said, ‘This is the most intelligent conversation I’ve ever had in a place like this.’ My Holy Spirit’s response... ‘You're welcome! Jesus for the win!’
With some men, I could tell right away that they weren’t Christians or open to pursuing a relationship with God but I could tell the truth and love of Jesus was hitting them. I could tell they were hungry for purpose and meaning in life by how they asked follow-up questions. I could tell God was planting seeds of faith through these conversations.
It didn’t matter where I would meet men, it was like God and I had an agreement that I would bring him up and stand up for my faith and how important it was. I quickly realized that this was one way God wanted me to evangelize by sharing my faith with other men as a single woman.
As you meet men out and about in your everyday life, it’s important to remember that you must always respect and honor them as children of God.
You may be the only woman of faith they ever interact with. You are a rare unicorn my friend and you have such an opportunity to show other men what a true woman of God looks like.
You have an opportunity to stand up for God and his truth. You have an opportunity to show men that there are women out there that put God and his ways first.
You have an opportunity to show men that it is important to save sex for marriage, especially in the hook up culture the world lives in today.
You may be the only woman that says no to a guy. You may be the woman that helps him realize that a woman's body is to be respected, honored and cherished and that sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed in a covenant of marriage.
You have an opportunity to show men what a Proverbs 31 woman and wife looks like.
You never know what seeds you will plant when a man crosses your path. Treat every interaction as an opportunity to represent Jesus.
Things people do nowadays in the dating scene can be pretty atrocious. My friends and I have plenty of dating horror stories as evidence of how rude or cruel people can be in their search for a mate.
Instead of turning down men rudely, we are called to do all things with love and respect.
How many times have you been out with your girlfriends and been rude to guys that try and hit on you?
In the past, my friends and I have been guilty of being rude ourselves when turning down men at bars.
Now, there are some men who may be out of line or inappropriate and you do need to stand your ground and stay away from these men.
But as Christians, no matter what someone has done to us, we know we are not supposed to respond with the same distasteful behavior.
Just like the Bible and our grandmas always told us, the golden rule for Christian dating is to treat others how you want to be treated.
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” - Luke 6:31 NIV
Would you want someone to ghost you?
Would you want someone to just stop talking to you for no reason?
Would you want someone to get your number but then never ask you on a date?
Would you want someone to talk to you all night just so they could get some free drinks?
Would you want someone to lead you on just because they were afraid of hurting your feelings or too chicken to let you down?
As a single woman, regardless of whether they know God or not, treat men how you would want to be treated.
Do all things with love and respect. Be honest. Be intentional.
If you aren’t interested in dating a guy, then let him down gently. Be honest. Don’t give your number if you don’t want him to text you or if you don’t want to go out with him.
If you start talking to a guy but then realize you aren’t interested, let him know. Don’t ghost him.
Don’t talk to guys just to get free drinks all night long or to get something else out of it. Don't date someone just because he's rich and buys you nice gifts.
Don’t lead a guy on just because you are afraid of hurting his feelings or just because you are lonely on a Friday night and there’s no one else to hang out with.
Just like anywhere you go, you are an ambassador of Christ and should imitate Christ in all that you do. Everything about your life – from your words, your appearance, to your actions should imitate and represent Jesus.
Think about it - you may be the only woman of God that a guy ever comes across. You may have an opportunity to show him for the first time what a real woman looks and sounds like.
As you represent God, it’s important not to blend in with the other woman of the world around you. The Bible tells us that we are the salt of the Earth and that we are less effective if we lose our saltiness. Said another way, God wants us to stand out as women of faith and to not lose our flavor by blending in too much with the world.
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.” - Matthew 5:13 NIV
The Bible also tells us not to conform to the patterns and behaviors of the world around us.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world…” - Romans 12:2 NIV
As daughters of God, you were created by God to stand out and represent him, not to blend or fit in. People are drawn to you because you are different. People are drawn to the love and truth of Jesus inside of you. God needs you to be set apart so you can effectively share the love and truth of Jesus to others around you.
Dress and Appearance
With your appearance, do you dress and look like the ladies around you? Are you wearing crop tops and skimpy bikinis on the beach because everyone else is dressing this way?
The Bible tells us that we should be clothed with strength and dignity and to dress with modesty in mind.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity." - Proverbs 31:25 NLT
“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety...appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” - 1 Timothy 2:9-10 NIV
We can still dress fashionably while looking beautiful. We can still get dressed up and look cute. But we need to dress in a way that honors God with our body.
With your words, do you curse, talk negatively to those around you, or tell provocative or rude jokes?
The Bible tells us that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Our words are powerful and we have the ability to either speak life or to speak death to those around us.
"Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." - Ephesians 5:4 NIV
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." - Ephesians 4:29 NIV
"But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." - Colossians 3:8 NIV
Basically, we need to look and sound like a lady.
Do you treat everyone with respect and do all things in love? Do you act with integrity? Do you drink too much and do things you aren’t proud of? Do you obey God’s word no matter what?
The Bible tells us to do all things in love. We are also called to be imitators of God, to imitate him in all that we do and to walk in love.
As single Christian women, we should be extra diligent to present ourselves as God’s daughters to men that we meet.
"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." - Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV
"Be diligent to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth." - 2 Timothy 2:15 NASB
Never waste an opportunity to invite someone to experience Jesus. The Bible tells us to make the most out of every opportunity and that includes opportunities that God will bring you as a single woman.
“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.” – Ephesians 5:15-16 NIV
Just because you aren’t interested in dating a guy doesn’t mean you shouldn’t talk to him. Don’t disqualify yourself for sharing the gospel or prevent someone from receiving the gospel just because you aren’t interested in dating him.
God may have put him in your path specifically to receive the love and truth of Jesus. Listen to where the Holy Spirit is guiding you and engage in conversation to talk about Jesus.
Don’t worry about feeling awkward about bringing up your faith or Jesus. As I talk about in my blog post, Single and Ready to Mingle: How to Bring Jesus into Any Conversation, there are lots of questions you can ask a guy to bring up Jesus naturally in conversation.
Be bold and courageous. Mention your faith and use any opportunity to see if the guy has a relationship with Jesus.
If he doesn’t know Jesus, you my friend, are his invitation that God has orchestrated.
You could invite him to church. You could offer to pray for him. You could ask him if he wants to receive Jesus as his savior. You could invite him to men’s prayer or a men’s small group at your church.
Accept your responsibility proudly as an ambassador of Christ to share the love and truth of Jesus no matter what.
He may not be your future husband, but he definitely is a man who needs the love and truth of Jesus. Don’t let his appearance prevent you from extending an invitation to church or to experience the love of Christ.
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