You've met a guy at church. Or maybe you've met a decent guy on a dating app and he says he’s a Christian.
But how do you tell if he is a Godly man? How do you tell the difference between a godly man vs worldly man?
And what are the characteristics of a Godly man? What are the characteristics of a good man according to the Bible?
While you may be excited and eager to start dating a guy goes to church or says he’s a Christian, it is wise to pray and discern whether they truly have a relationship with God.
In this blog post, we will discuss the qualities of a godly man, including:
A Godly man is a man who loves God with all his heart and who obeys his word.
A Godly man has a personal relationship with God and spends time with him.
A Godly man is a man who seeks God first and who desires to glorify God with his life.
Lots of guys call themselves Christians, but they really don’t have a relationship with God. They don't read the Bible or even know what God’s word says about important issues.
Before I surrendered my life to Jesus, I dated plenty of worldly men who didn’t have a relationship with God.
But after I was saved, God showed me how important it was to date someone that loves God and to be equally yoked in dating.
While I still met plenty of guys who didn’t have a relationship with God after I was saved, God gave me discernment to discern a godly man vs worldly man.
As a woman of faith, you deserve a Godly man. You deserve someone who loves God just as much as you do.
Finding a true man of God doesn’t have to be difficult.
Trust God to give you discernment to discern whether a guy truly is a man of God.
As you wait on God to reveal this man's true heart, here are 15 qualities of a godly man and characteristics of a good man according to the Bible.
Godly Man Quote by Erin Elise Kiu
As you seek God to reveal the true heart of this man, below are 15 signs of a godly man to help you identify whether he is a true man of God.
This list is by no means meant to be a checklist, where you evaluate these qualities of a godly man for every decent guy you meet.
Trust that God will show you whether a guy is a godly man, and that you will get to see the guy's true heart with your own eyes.
Loving God with all our heart, mind and soul is the first and greatest commandment.
A guy can say he loves God but it means nothing unless he puts that love in action.
“What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone?... So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.” – James 2:14 & 17
How does this man show his love for God? Can you see his love for God evidenced through his actions? Does he have an actual relationship with God?
How does he worship God during worship at church? Does he worship God with confidence and praise? It's so beautiful seeing a guy worship God with all his heart with his arms raised in the air and his eyes closed.
In addition to church every Sunday, does he spend time with God during the week?
How does he spend his time with God each day? Does he have a consistent routine where he draws closer to God every day?
Godly Man Quote by Erin Elise Kiu
You can tell a lot about a person by how they interact with others. Loving others is right up there along with loving God.
“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” – Matthew 22:39 NIV
The Bible even says that if you hate your brother or sister but say you love God, then you don’t really love God.
“If someone says, “I love God,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is a liar; for if we don’t love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?” – 1 John 4:20 NLT
Loving others is another way we show our love for God.
At church, how does he love others? Does he serve on a volunteer team?
How does he act with strangers? Waiters at restaurants? Is he polite and considerate to others around him?
Is he friendly towards his neighbors? How does he talk about his family?
It’s one thing to memorize scripture, but a true man of God obeys and lives out God's Word.
A true man of God will not only read God’s word but will live it out in his everyday life.
A true man of God will know that God’s word is not just a book of suggestions, but the instruction manual to life.
“Jesus replied, “But even more blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.”” - Luke 11:28 NLT
A Godly man will know that obeying God’s word is another way he can show his love for God.
“Loving God means keeping his commandments, and his commandments are not burdensome.” – 1 John 5:3 NLT
Observing his character may take some time. Ask God to reveal any character or behaviors that are not in line with God’s word.
Is he a man of integrity? Will he do what is right, no matter how small or insignificant it seems?
What is he reading in the Bible right now? How is God speaking to him through the Bible?
Does he think it's important to wait until marriage to have sex?
Does he think it's okay to live together before marriage?
As you discern whether he obeys God's word, make sure you are studying and meditating on God's word in the meantime.
If a man doesn’t think it’s important to wait to have sex until you are married, then he is out of line with God’s word.
“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:3
God created sex to be enjoyed between a husband and wife in marriage only, but there are many guys who claim to be Christian who don't think it's a big deal to have sex before marriage.
It’s important to understand if he knows what God’s word says in this area at all or if he just doesn’t obey God's word.
Identifying where he’s at will help tell you if he reads and knows God’s word at all or if he is struggling with this area in his life.
And it’s important to understand if he is struggling and wants to commit to purity or if he is completely disregarding God's word in this area.
If he’s struggling with sexual sin in his life but wants to surrender this area to God, don’t write him off completely.
He may not be ready for a relationship until he overcomes his past sexual sin but if he’s taking an active role in getting the help he needs from Godly counsel, then that’s a good sign.
If the guy is making no effort to change or surrender this area to God, then it’s best not to date him.
Even if he goes to church with you, you don’t want to date someone who could tempt you into sin or someone who is choosing to continue to sin.
A guy's views on sex before marriage will help you tell a godly man vs worldly man.
If you are struggling with purity and obeying God's design for sex, you can learn more about my story in my blog post, Why I Chose Not to Have Sex Before Marriage.
There are lots of good Christian books on this topic that you can recommend to help him understand how important it is to save sex for marriage.
Here are some of my favorites that helped me when I was struggling in this area. Click on the images below to shop on Amazon.
The Bible tells us you can tell a good tree by their fruit.
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act… A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit… Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.” – Matthew 7:15-17, 20 NLT
Does this guy produce good or bad fruit in his life?
Even if he looks good and says all the right things, how is he behaving? Does he behave like a godly man or a worldly man?
What does he attract in his life? Do his actions align with how he comes across?
When we are saved and accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are filled with the Holy Spirit who produces fruit in our life.
“But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control…” – Galatians 5:22-23 NLT
Does he exhibit the fruits of the Spirit in his life? Do you see him growing in the fruits of the Spirit as he continues to seek God?
Don’t be deceived by a wolf in sheep’s clothing. If he sounds too good to be true without producing good fruit in his life, then he’s probably not the man of God you thought he was.
It is so important for all Christians to be planted in a church to grow closer to Christ in a community of other believers.
Being planted in the right church accelerates your spiritual growth. Being planted allows you to flourish and grow in rich soil, getting the nourishment and support you need from other believers.
“The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God.” – Psalm 92:12-13
A church community provides the mentors, pastors, and friends you need to do life with. For men, it’s so important that they have other Godly men in their life that they can turn to for wisdom and advice.
“Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers.” – Proverbs 11:14 NLT
Godly counsel is important for all of us but it's so important for a guy to have other men that he can reach out to for support.
Is he planted in a church that he attends regularly? Does he serve on a volunteer team?
Does he attend a small group or other events at the church? Does he attend men’s prayer?
A true man of God will know how to pray. He will know that prayer is powerful and that we are called to pray without ceasing.
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
How does he pray for you? Does he offer to pray with you in person? Does he take the lead when praying over your relationship?
Does he make it awkward? Is he uncomfortable praying out loud?
Real men (and women) know how to pray.
A praying man is a sexy man.
Godly man quote - Erin Elise Kiu
When I heard my husband pray for the first time at church, it was the most beautiful and sexiest thing I had ever heard.
If your man is a new Christian or doesn’t pray with power and authority yet, guide him to a men’s prayer group at church.
A man that respects your body and your purity is a true man of God.
You can be attracted to each other while still setting physical boundaries in dating and honoring God's design for sex in marriage.
Even if you've decided not to have sex, it is so important that you both honor and respect each other's bodies.
“Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NLT
Does he respect your physical boundaries? Does he try and tempt you into doing things that you don't want to do?
Any man can love your body but a true man of God loves you for you - not because of your body.
Godly man quote by Erin Elise Kiu
If you want to learn more about how to set physical boundaries in a relationship, you can read more in my blog post, How to Set Boundaries In Dating.
The Bible tells us to seek God first - not last - and that God will take care of our every need.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” –Matthew 6:33
Prioritizing God and living the life God has called us to live is so important.
It can be easy to put God last after everything else we have going on in our schedules. But when we put God last, over time, we drift from God himself and the plans he has for us.
Does he make time to put God and other spiritual matters first? Or does he make excuses for putting God second?
“Oh, I can’t go to church today, I have to catch up on some work.”
“I can’t go to men’s connect group this week. I told my buddy I would grab drinks with him.”
“Can we watch Netflix instead of talking about the Bible?”
You deserve someone who is going to put God first, not last. When he puts God first, he will be able to give you the love and time you deserve.
You can tell a lot about a person’s passions and priorities by how they spend their weekend.
A godly man will not pursue the things off this world on the weekends.
If he spends his weekends partying, he is not the man for you.
Even if he manages to make it to church every Sunday morning, if he spends Friday and Saturday night taking shots with his buddies and partying until 2 am, he is not living out God’s word.
“Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy.” – Romans 13:13 NLT
Does he spend his weekends prioritizing God and the life God has called him to live? Or does he spend his time on worldly things that pull him farther away from God?
Godly man quote by Erin Elise Kiu
The people we choose to do life with have a powerful influence on our life.
You’ve probably heard the sayings, ‘You become like the people you surround yourself with.' And 'You become the company you keep.’
Well, these sayings are actually biblical.
“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – Proverbs 27:17 NLT
“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” – Proverbs 13:20
His friends can either bring him closer to God and support him in his spiritual walk or they can be a bad influence in his life and lead him into a lifestyle of sin and darkness.
Do his friends also have a relationship with God? Do his friends encourage him to participate in activities that are out of line with God's word?
We all sin and have a past but the Bible tells us to confess our sins to each other so we may be healed.
If he hasn’t told you his testimony or doesn’t like talking about his past, it may mean he is still dealing with it or struggling with sin.
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” – James 5:16 NLT
We all sin but it’s important to help each other get the support we need to overcome the sin.
Have you both shared your testimony of how you came to know Christ? Have you shared what sin you overcame as you surrendered your life to Jesus?
Does he openly ask for prayer and support when he is struggling with something?
When you look at your normal day to day and weekly activities, do these activities honor God or do they cause you to stray from God’s word?
For example, if you are spending a lot of your time having sex or drinking, these are not in line with God’s word.
Does he lead you in your relationship and encourage you to grow in your faith? Does he remind you of what God's word says and pray for you when you go through trials?
You deserve a man who is going to lead you in all aspects of your relationship, especially spiritually. Don't settle for anyone who hinders your spiritual growth.
To learn more about why the man should be the leader in the relationship, check out my blog post, Should You Ask the Guy Out Already?.
Sure, you may meet a good guy who goes to church every Sunday and volunteers in kid’s church. Adorable, I know.
But if he isn’t spending time with God and living in a way that pleases God the rest of the week, he’s not the Godly man for you.
We were intended to have a relationship with God and make him the center of our life, not just the center of our Sundays.
A lot of people think it's good enough to go to church every Sunday and can do whatever they want during the week. But that's not good enough for God.
God wants our whole heart every day of the week, not just 1 day out of 7.
That's almost like saying your boyfriend can be a loving, committed boyfriend to you on Sundays but can date or do whatever he wants the rest of the week.
Would you want to be with someone who only wants to be your boyfriend 1 day out of the week?
Don't settle for a guy who goes to church every Sunday if he really isn't following God the rest of the days of the week.
The Bible tells us that life and death are in the tongue.
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21 NIV
The words that we speak are powerful. We have the power to either speak life or death.
The Bible also tells us that what we say is an overflow from the heart. If we speak poorly, then that indicates that our hearts need some attention.
“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.” – Luke 6:45 NLT
Does he swear? Talk badly about others? Does he gossip?
Does he complain or talk negatively over other people or life in general?
If he is speaking death, it may be a sign he doesn't know God very well or that he has a heart issue that he needs to deal with.
If you are single and struggling to speak life over yourself and men in general, check out how to speak life over singleness.
Now that you know the characteristics of a godly man to look out for, how do you find a godly man? Where do godly men hang out?
Being actively involved in a local church is one of the best ways to meet other godly men and friends to do life with.
That's why it's so important to find a local church and community that feels like home.
And the key to meeting other people and godly men at church is to be actively involved.
Don't just expect to meet your future husband in the lobby after church on a Sunday morning.
Join a volunteer or serving team. Attend a small group or events the church hosts. Put yourself out there and attend different church events.
If you are still hoping to find a good church, do some research online. Find churches that have events or groups for younger people, such as young adults or young professionals.
A lot of churches have all their ministries on their website, and many have events or groups for single men and women.
Meeting my husband at church was a big part of our God written love story, but godly men go to many other places in addition to church.
Think of all the places you go to on a weekly basis. While God and church may be a big part of your life, you probably go to many other places were men also go.
The grocery store. Dinner with your friends. The gym. A hike. The beach.
Godly men have passions and interests just like you.
And after scoping out the guys at your local church, considering going to places that you enjoy may allow you to meet other men that share your same hobbies and passions.
As you pray to meet your future husband, pray and ask God if you should consider the following on how to find a godly man:
Praying for your future husband is powerful! It doesn't matter if God has already revealed who your future hubby is or if you are still waiting on God to bring you your man, prayer is one of the best things you can do to support your future husband.
If you are looking to pray over your future husband and become the wife he is looking for as you wait on God to bring you together, you can join my free, 14-day Attracting Your Future Husband Challenge to get daily topics, prayers, and bible verses to pray over.
In the challenge, you'll receive the prayers and bible verses I prayed the most as I waited on God to bring me my husband. We got married in 2020 so I know that prayer is powerful!
You can also download my free prayer guide, which includes 5 prayers to pray over your future husband.
Click on the image below or click here to access my free prayer guide on Praying For Your Future Husband. This prayer guide includes 15 scriptures and 5 prayer prompts to pray over your future husband.
Want more blog posts about Christian dating? Check out the blog posts below for more Christian dating tips and insight from God's word.
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Join the FREE Attracting Your Future Husband challenge, a 14-day prayer challenge that will help you pray over yourself & your future husband as you wait on God to bring you together