Single and Ready to Mingle: How to Bring Jesus into Any ConversationJun 26, 2020
How to Talk About God with Men on a Date
As a fun & holy daughter of God, you deserve a Godly man who is going to cherish you, love you and treat you like the queen you are.
You’ve been praying and trusting God with your future husband. You’ve been praying, waiting, and praying some more.
There may be some potential men at your church but you’re also open to meeting your Godly husband in the real world.
As a woman of faith, you know what the Bible says about only dating other believers and you know that it’s important to date someone that also loves God with all their heart, mind and soul.
So how do you find these Godly men?
Church is obviously a great place to meet men that have similar beliefs in God and is a great way to meet lots of potential men in a safe environment.
But what if you’ve been praying and waiting on your future husband but you aren’t seeing any prospects at church?
In a quarantine season where we still can’t gather at most churches due to the gathering restrictions, Christian singles more than ever are looking to meet other available Christians out and about in the real world.
Some of you are already thinking that there are no other good guys out there. Some of you are sick of meeting men at bars. Some of you are aggressively swiping left and right on the dating apps, hoping to find a Christian man online, thinking it’s impossible to meet men organically in person nowadays.
If you’ve been feeling this way or feel very strongly about meeting your future hubby at church, I want to encourage you to pray and ask God to open your eyes to the men that are right in front of you.
Cancel the lie that it’s impossible to find a decent guy in the real world and start believing that there is an abundance of sexy, Godly men out there!
Men of God aren’t just at church. Godly men have jobs, passions, hobbies, go to grocery store, go out to eat, work out and do all other sorts of things in the real world.
Think about all the places you go and things you do on a weekly basis. While you may spend the majority of your time at home or at church, you still go to a lot of places that other Godly men could be at.
And yes, you could still meet a Godly man at a bar or restaurant. Just don’t go to the bars where everyone is wasted and it’s obvious that people are just looking to have some fun. Don’t go to the same bars that you used to go to before you knew Jesus. You know those bars that make you feel icky just thinking about them? Yeah, don’t go there.
Now that God has shown you that Godly men could be anywhere that you go on a daily basis, it's important to learn how to identify who these Godly men are through meaningful conversation.
If you are single and ready to mingle, how can you naturally bring up Jesus in a conversation without sounding super awkward?
I was single all of last year, learning how to navigate dating and interacting with men in a way that would honor God. I had mostly dated men that didn’t love God before I surrendered my life to Jesus and my initial conversations usually involved lots of alcohol. So as a new Christian, finding someone who also loved God without alcohol was completely new territory for me.
In honor of God's word, I told God that I would only date men that also loved Jesus. I was going to date God’s way and I didn’t want to end up on a date with someone to find out that they didn’t love God.
I started to meet men at the beach and in restaurants or bars and got more comfortable bringing up God right away in conversation. Whenever someone would approach me, I learned a few key questions to ask in the conversation that would naturally bring up an opening for me to talk about God and my faith.
While I ended up meeting my fiancé at church (we served on the same volunteer team, you can read more of our love story on my blog here), I did have some really great conversations with men about Jesus when I was single.
Instead of the pointless, meaningless questions and conversations people normally have at bars or at restaurants, I would ask men about their passions. Their hobbies. Their purpose. And most importantly, about their relationship with Jesus.
As single women in this world, we can feel shy or intimidated to bring up God with men we don’t know. We may worry about feeling awkward or too pushy if we start talking about Jesus right away.
As women of God, we need to be intentional to only date men that also love God. We shouldn’t wait until a few dates in to discover that they don’t have a relationship with God. We need to be bold and intentional upfront to let them know that our faith is important and to see if they share the same faith.
You don’t have to run around asking men if they love Jesus but I do know some bold and courageous women of faith that would bring up Jesus right away in the conversation to see where the guy was at. They weren’t messing around, especially with all of the back and forth bantering and texting with online dating.
True men of God won’t think it’s awkward when you start talking about Jesus. If they also love Jesus, they will love that you love Jesus and will love talking about him. That’s a lot of love for Jesus isn’t it?
If you are still getting used to engaging with men and bringing up Jesus, below are some of the top questions I used to start conversations with men to see if they had a relationship with God.
These questions eventually provide an opportunity to ask other follow-up questions that talk more about Jesus and it’s up to you and the Holy Spirit to continue the conversation. Picture your Holy Spirit as your wingman. God is right there with you the whole time, giving you the words you need to speak his truth in love.
You can tell a lot about the guy by how he reacts. If a guy is a true man of God, he will light up and will be so excited to talk about Jesus with you.
If he is a nonbeliever and not open to hearing more about God, he will get awkward, fidgety and may even run away like that guy from Arizona on the beach.
The important thing for you to remember is to talk about your faith and love for God when you have an opening. Don’t be shy to share your faith or what you are passionate about.
Talk about all the awesome goals and dreams that God has put on your heart and talk about how you want to make a difference in this world. Talk about how God has changed your life. Your passion for Jesus is contagious and whether he's a believer or not, he will want to learn more about this amazing life with Jesus.
Top 10 Conversation Starters to Bring Jesus into Any Conversation
In no particular order, here are 10 questions you can use to bring Jesus up naturally in any conversation to see if the guy also loves Jesus.
1) So what are your plans this weekend?
Easy question to ask. Especially if it is the weekend and you are out and about on the beach or in a bar or restaurant doing your thing. Sometimes, the guy even asks this question first. If you ask it first, listen and ask good follow-up questions. If he then asks what your plans are, this is the opening. This is where you and God shine. You should talk about going to church and then ask if he goes to a church. Let the Holy Spirit take over from there.
2) What have you and your friends been up to tonight?
If the guy starts talking about how much they are going out and getting wasted and partying, he likely isn’t a true man of God. You can tell a Godly man by his fruit and if he is excited to spend all weekend partying and getting drunk, he is not the man for you my friend.
3) What are you passionate about?
People love talking about what they are passionate about and you can learn a lot about someone with this open-ended question. Sadly, you may realize right away that some men don’t have any passions at all. As a Christian, God gives us passions and dreams to serve him and his Kingdom and to make an impact on this Earth. When the guy asks what you are passionate about, be ready to talk about the impact you want to have on the world and your love for Jesus.
4) What do you enjoy doing for fun in your spare time?
You can learn a lot about someone by how they spend their time. Similar to passions, if he’s a man of God, his life should be full of things he does for fun. When it’s your turn to respond, talk about all the fun gatherings you do at your church and with your connect groups.
5) What are you celebrating or most excited about this week?
Christians love a good God story and here is your chance to share an exciting story or something you are celebrating and give God the credit. If you don’t have anything super exciting going on, you should totally mention that you are excited for church or excited to see your friends at your connect group this week.
6) What do you feel like your purpose or calling is?
This question is huge! As Christians, we know we all have a responsibility to love God and to love others and to go out and make disciples. We also know that God has specific plans for each one of us and calls us to unique assignments to make a difference for his Kingdom. If he doesn’t know his purpose or calling at all, he may not know Jesus yet.
7) What is one goal you are working towards this year?
Goals can tell you a lot about a person’s passions and interests. If a guy doesn’t have goals or anything that he is working on in life, that may be a sign that he is lost and doesn’t have God in his life. Be prepared to share one of your many goals and how you want to make an impact in this world.
Side note: If you are unsure of what your goals are, you can use this free Spiritual Goals Worksheet to assess and set your own spiritual goals. As a Christian, we should always aim to grow closer to God and to other believers in our local church. Assess and set your goals in 10 different spiritual areas with this worksheet that includes 46 example spiritual goals to consider.
8) What are you most known for from your friends and family?
This could either go down the fun, loving path or the crazy, party path depending on the guy. If the guy is known for throwing raging parties and hitting the clubs every weekend, kindly tell him it was nice meeting him and move on.
9) What would your ideal Sunday look like if you could do anything you wanted for the entire day?
A man of God should mention that he would go to church. If he doesn’t, you can always ask as a follow-up. If he does mention church, that’s your opportunity to ask more about his relationship with God and learn more about his church.
10) Do you go to church?
This question is less intimidating than asking someone straight up if they love Jesus. I’ve used this question before when I want to get to the chase or if I can tell I’m running out of time.
However, just because he goes to church doesn’t mean he has a relationship with God. If he only goes to church on Christmas and Easter, then he likely doesn’t have that close of a relationship with God.
You deserve a guy who is going to lead you spiritually and who loves God with all his heart, mind and soul. Don’t settle for a guy who only goes to church once in a while who never talks about God the rest of the week.
You are a catch my friend – God wants you to be married to man who also loves Jesus and who will be excited to go to church with you!
Top 10 Follow-up Questions to See if He Really Knows Jesus
It’s important to ask good follow-up questions to see if a guy really knows Jesus. If you do realize that you both love Jesus and go to church, these questions will help you get to know each other a little better and to see how passionate he is about Jesus.
- Which church do you go too?
- Do you have a relationship with God?
- What are you reading in the Bible right now?
- What are your spiritual gifts?
- What do you like most about your church?
- Are you a part of the men’s ministry at your church?
- What serving or volunteer team are you on at church?
- What’s your favorite worship song right now?
- Who’s your favorite Christian author or speaker?
- How long have you known Jesus?
Top 3 Questions to Avoid
I hear these questions overused all the time and I used to use them myself when I was a new Christian. If you get tongue tied, try and avoid these questions below.
1) Are you religious?
As Christians, we are followers of Christ and have a relationship, not a religion with God. Avoid using the term religion whenever possible and instead focus on the relationship with God.
2) Do you believe in God?
This is a weak question. If you’ve been a Christian and in church for a while, you know that there are many people out there that say they believe in God but don’t even go to church or live a Christian lifestyle.
You deserve someone that is madly in love with Jesus, not someone who just believes that he exists.
3) Are you waiting until marriage to have sex? What are your views on sex before marriage?
While it’s important to make sure you and the guy are on the same page and honoring God’s design for sex in a covenant of marriage, you don’t need to bring this up right away in the first conversation.
If the guy is a Christian and the conversation is going well and you are interested in going out with him, I would bring this up more naturally on an actual date to make sure you are on the same page. You also don’t want to make it seem like you are interrogating him right away.
What do you do when he asks for your number but you haven’t talked about God yet?
If you meet a guy and did not have a chance or opening to talk about God in the conversation and he asks for your number, this is the closing opportunity. Time to be bold and courageous girl. Time to stand your ground as a daughter of God.
When he asks for your number, say “I only date guys that love God. Do you have a relationship with God?” BOOM.
PAUSE. WAIT FOR HIS REACTION. PRAY SILENTLY FOR GOD TO MOVE.
You spoke your truth. A true man of God will light up like a Christmas tree and get all excited. He will tell you that he also loves God and that he would love to take you on a date. Mission accomplished!
Remember, people that love God get all excited when they meet others that share the same passion for him.
If he doesn’t love God, he will seem surprised or taken back. He may start to fidget and act awkward. He may give you a high five and run away.
But if he stays, this is your opportunity to share the truth about Jesus and why he is important to you. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in this conversation.
This could be an opportunity to invite him to your church. This could be an opportunity to share the gospel. You may have an opportunity to invite him to encounter Jesus and to become a part of the family of God!
Even if you know that he's not the one for you, still have a chance to plant seeds of truth in his heart that God can water. No conversation about Jesus is ever wasted.
Be Strong and Courageous
Alright ladies, you are ready. Be strong and courageous! Go out there and get ready to share your faith with the men God puts in your path. You can do this. I have faith in you girl!
I pray God opens your eyes to the Godly men all around you and I pray that God is orchestrating a plan for you and your future husband to cross paths in God's perfect timing!
Do You Want to Attract Your Future Husband?
Join my free, 14-day Attracting Your Future Husband Challenge to pray over your future husband and become the woman and wife he is looking for as you wait on God to bring you together.
In the challenge, I include the prayers and bible verses I prayed the most as I waited on God to grant the desires of my heart. You'll get daily content for two weeks to help you pray & press in to the plans God has for you and your future husband.
Praying & Waiting on God to Bring Your Future Husband
If you want a reminder of how faithful God is and that he is writing your love story, you can read my own love story on my blog post, God is Still Writing Love Stories, to see how I trusted God with my future husband and how he brought us together in his perfect timing.
While you pray and trust God to bring you your future husband, you can download my free prayer guide to pray for your future husband as you wait.
Praying for your future husband is powerful. It doesn't matter if God has already revealed who your future husband is or if you are still waiting on God to bring you your man, prayer is one of the best things you can do when you are single to support your future husband.
Click on the image below or click here to access my free prayer guide on Praying For Your Future Husband where I include 15 scriptures and 5 prayers I prayed regularly over my future husband.
Related Blog Posts on Christian Dating
Want more blog posts about Christian dating? Check out the blog posts below for more Christian dating tips and insight from God's word.
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