How to Let God Heal a Broken Heart from a Lost RelationshipSep 03, 2021
Maybe you just broke up with your boyfriend. Or maybe he was the one that ended things, and you are feeling heart broken.
If you are here today with a broken heart or wondering how God can heal a broken heart from a lost relationship, you’re in the right place.
In this blog post, will talk about how God heals a broken heart and how to ask God to heal your broken heart.
While you may have heard the saying that only God can heal a broken heart, there are some things you can do to partner with God in the process as he heals your heartbreak.
And if you’re here, as your sister in Christ, I just want to tell you that God is the ultimate healer and he will not abandon you doing this time.
When I was single, I went through a season where I lived in a new city and I had no friends and a broken heart.
It was the loneliest and most depressing time of my life, but God taught me how to rely on him for comfort and how to let God heal my broken heart after a breakup.
I pray that you feel God’s love and comfort as you read this, and that you start to feel God healing your broken heart as you turn to him.
Only God can heal a broken heart from a lost relationship
It’s important to understand that only God can heal a broken heart. While you may have heard the expression that time heals all wounds, this is only partly true.
While a broken heart does heal over time, God is the one that makes the healing possible. Relying on God for true comfort and healing is essential.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” – Psalm 34:18 NIV
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3 ESV
And the best way to rely on God during this time is to turn to him through prayer.
So how does God heal a broken heart?
The first step to God healing a broken heart is to come to God through prayer and admit that you need him.
Ask him to heal your broken heart. Ask him to help you move on from the last relationship.
And if you’ve never given your life to Jesus or had much of a relationship with God, now is the perfect time to admit that you need God in your life. And that he is the one in control.
I spent too many years trying to get over someone and trying to heal from a breakup without God, and it only delayed the process.
But when I was all alone in a new city with a broken heart, God showed me that only he could truly heal my broken heart and put it back together again.
If you’re not sure how to pray for God to heal your broken heart, check out these prayers for a broken heart.
Allow God to heal your broken heart through his Word in the Bible
As you turn to God to heal your broken heart, it’s important to realize how he heals us as we read his word.
The Bible is alive and active, and sharper than a two-edged sword.
“For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” – Hebrews 4:12
This means that reading and declaring God’s Word is powerful. God responds when we pray and declare his Word.
And reading the Bible is one of the ways we often hear God speak to us.
When you have a broken heart, it is so important to remind yourself of what God says about you instead of what this world says about you.
It’s important to realize that God promises to heal you and that only he can provide true comfort during this time.
And it’s important to realize that the world or the things of this world cannot heal your broken heart.
If you’ve been relying on other people or things to heal your broken heart, it’s time to surrender those to God.
Maybe you’ve been relying on a new relationship to fill the void from the last relationship.
Or maybe you’ve been turning to substances like drugs or alcohol or porn to help fill the void.
It’s important to realize that these things will not heal your broken heart and it’s time to repent and give these things to God.
And as you let God heal your broken heart, it’s important to spend time with God every day.
Check out this blog post for prayers and Bible verses to pray as you let God heal your broken heart.
Be honest with God and identify your emotions from a broken heart
As you let God heal your broken heart, it is so important to identify the thoughts and emotions that you’re feeling during this time.
If you try and reject or avoid the feelings and emotions that you are feeling, it’s only going to delay the healing process or prevent complete healing altogether.
If it’s hard to identify your feelings and emotions in prayer to God, I recommend writing down your emotions and feelings in a journal.
Write down any thoughts, emotions, or feelings that you’re experiencing.
When we write things down, it helps us identify the emotion we are feeling and helps us surrender it to God.
Journaling may also help you identify the reason or root behind a core emotion to identify if there’s an underlying reason you may be feeling that way.
For example, if you are feeling worried or anxious that you’ll never find someone to date, maybe the real reason you feel this way is because you don’t feel like you are good enough or worthy enough for someone to like you.
As you identify the emotions and feelings that you are feeling, it’s important to surrender these to God.
If you feel rejected, acknowledge that you feel rejected and ask God to help you feel loved and seen.
If you're struggling with feeling rejected, learn more about how to deal with rejection from a crush.
If you feel hatred, resentment, or bitterness in your heart, then tell God how you were feeling and surrender it to him. Ask him to help you let go of these feelings.
Or if you feel lonely or sad, let God know.
When you admit these feelings and emotions to God and surrender them to him in prayer, you are allowing God to take the first step in healing these emotions.
And while it may seem silly to pray out loud and surrender these feelings to God, he already knows what you are feeling and he is waiting for you to surrender these emotions to him.
And when you surrender these emotions to God through prayer, it will feel like a weight being lifted off your shoulders.
The Bible tells us to cast all our burdens onto him, for he cares about us.
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” – 1 Peter 5:7 NLT
When we surrender these emotions to God, we will feel lighter and have more peace knowing that God is the one in control.
Repent and confess any sins from the relationship to God
As you embark on identifying your feelings and emotions, it’s important to acknowledge and confess any sin associated with the broken heart or lost relationship.
If God has revealed that your relationship was out of line with his Word, or if your relationship was ungodly, it’s important to confess any sins to God and ask for his forgiveness.
For example, when I had a broken heart after a breakup, I realize that I had been disobeying God’s will for my life and I was trying to pursue the relationship when God had told me I shouldn’t.
The guy I was heartbroken after was a non-Christian and we had been in a sexual relationship that I knew was out of line with God’s will.
God showed me that having sex before marriage is a sin and that being unequally yoked in dating a non-Christian was a sin, and God prompted me several times to stop hanging out with this guy.
But for months I tried justifying that it was okay to continue seeing this guy. I thought that maybe he would start going to church with me, but I was naïve and was still disobeying God’s will.
I didn’t listen to God when he was nudging me to end the relationship and let the guy go. And months later when I was heartbroken, I realized that by trying to hold onto the relationship, I had only caused more heartbreak in the end.
God showed me that I had to acknowledge my sin and wrongdoing in the relationship, and that I had to confess my sins of not listening to God or obeying his word.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” – 1 John 1:9
If you have a broken heart from a relationship where you have sinned or done things that were not pleasing to God, confess any sin to God and ask to receive his forgiveness.
And if you’re experiencing a broken heart from a lost relationship from a friend or family member, acknowledge any sin or fault that you may have had with the relationship.
Maybe you said something you shouldn’t have said to a friend. Or maybe you went behind a friend’s back and gossiped about her, or stabbed her in the back.
Admitting our own sin and wrongdoings is essential to God healing a broken heart.
Surrender any unforgiveness in your heart to God
As you let God heal your broken heart, it’s important to surrender any unforgiveness you may be feeling in your heart and ask God to help you forgive the other person.
I know it may be hard to forgive the person that has hurt you when you’re still healing, but holding onto any unforgiveness can delay or prevent your heart from healing.
The Bible tells us how important it is to forgive the other person, but when we let the unforgiveness stay in our heart or try and avoid it, it leads to a bigger wound in the long run.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32 NLT
Even if you don’t feel like forgiving the other person, go to God in prayer and ask him to help you forgive the person that has broken your heart.
Overtime, God will show you how to forgive the person and will give you the strength to forgive them.
And even if you don’t feel it, there is power when we say that we forgive someone. Continue to surrender this to God in prayer and let him show you how to forgive the other person.
And if you are struggling to forgive the person that has hurt you, start praying for God to move in their life and start praying for them.
When I had a broken heart, praying for the other person that had hurt me helped me forgive them and helped heal my broken heart.
For example, when I had a broken heart from the guy I was seeing, I had found out that he had also been dating and sleeping with someone else. I was crushed and was so angry at him.
And while I knew I had disobeyed God by continuing the relationship and having sex before marriage, it didn’t make it any easier to forgive the guy for what he had done.
But God showed me how to surrender my unforgiveness towards him and the other girl through prayer. And I started praying that they would seek God and discover God’s purpose for their life.
And instead of feeling angry, I started to feel compassion towards him and really did hope that he would come to know Jesus.
If you're not sure how to pray for forgiveness, check out these prayers for a broken heart and how to forgive the person that has hurt you.
Break any soul ties with the other person
As part of the healing process, it’s important to break ungodly soul ties that may have formed with the other person.
Ungodly soul ties may prevent us from fully healing and moving on from the other person.
Wondering why does heartbreak hurt so much?
It’s because of the soul tie or attachment that has been formed with the other person. Soul ties are formed when we have a physical or emotional connection with someone, and were meant to bond or attach two people together for life.
But when two people breakup, it causes feelings of pain and loss. It can feel like it physically hurts because your heart wants to attach to the other person forever.
And while most people know that soul ties can form in romantic relationships through physical activity, ungodly soul ties can also form between other types of relationships as well.
Soul ties can form between friends, between an employee and their boss, and any other close relationships among family members.
If time has passed and you’re still struggling to separate yourself from the person or move on, you may have an ungodly soul tie with the other person.
But don’t worry, God is the ultimate healer and restorer and we can pray to break off any ungodly soul ties through prayer.
Learn more about how soul ties are formed and how to pray and break off ungodly soul ties.
Avoid anything that can break your heart even more
As you let God heal your broken heart, it’s important to avoid the other person to prevent even more pain and heartbreak.
If you experienced a breakup and God has confirmed that the other person is not supposed to be in your life, it’s important to avoid any contact or communication with that person so your heart can fully heal.
The more you try and stay in touch with this person or every time that you’re reminded of them, this could be delaying the healing process or only causing more pain.
To let your heart fully heal, it’s best to stop seeing the other person and to avoid situations where you may see them. And it’s best to stop all communication with them.
Delete their number from your phone and unfollow them from social media if you need to.
The more you see this person or see what they’ve been up to, it will only cause more pain and remind you of the breakup.
It’s like pouring salt into a wound. When you pour salt into a wound, it stings and hurts.
With a broken heart, anytime you see the person or think about them, it can feel like your heart is breaking all over again.
When I was healing from a broken heart with a guy I had dated, every time I would see him on social media it would feel like my heart was hurting all over again.
It was tempting to still see what he had been up to, and to find out if he was dating someone new, but I knew I had to unfollow him and block him to avoid causing more pain.
Pray and ask God how you can distance yourself or remove yourself from this person’s life to avoid feeling hurt every time you see them or think of them.
And as you avoid the person that broke your heart, it’s also important to avoid doing certain things that will only make you feel worse.
If you have a broken heart, avoid doing these things:
- Watching romantic movies or reading romance novels
- Listening to sad love songs
- Looking at old photos of your ex and wondering what could have been
- Spending too much time on social media looking at other couples or your ex
- Going out and drinking too much alcohol
- Dating someone right after a breakup or looking for someone to hook up with
- Hanging out with friends who are a bad influence, or who encourage you to hook up with someone else
While the world may tell you that the best way to get over someone is to sleep with someone else, this will only make things worse.
I spent years turning to drinking alcohol or trying to date or hook up with someone else, and I only felt more rejected and alone in the long run.
Sleeping with or getting involved with someone else too soon will only result in more soul ties, which will result in only causing more pain and heartbreak.
If you want your heart to fully heal, avoid taking advice from the world and turn to God’s truth in his Word.
The power of controlling your thoughts with a broken heart
As you let God heal your broken heart, it’s important to learn how to take control of your thoughts.
After a breakup or after your heart has been broken heart, it’s easy to let your thoughts spiral and rehearse the past. It’s easy to think of all of the ‘what ifs’ or the things you should have said or did.
When these thoughts start to creep in, it’s so important to declare and pray God’s word.
Declare God’s truth over the situation and remind yourself of who God says you are.
The Bible says that we have the mind of Christ and the ability to take every thought captive to the Word of God.
““Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” But we have the mind of Christ.” – 1 Corinthians 2:16 NIV
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” – 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV
It is so important to take action when you feel your thoughts spiraling out of control, so you don’t start replaying the hurt and past all over again.
And that’s why it’s so important to memorize God’s Word and declare it over your life.
Write Bible verses that speak to you in this season on index cards or post it notes, or set reminders in your phone for Bible verses to pop up.
Play your favorite worship song when the thoughts or memories from the past start to creep in.
And command the Devil to leave you alone, and declare that God is the ultimate healer and that you are moving on and healing from the past.
Surround yourself with positive influences & focus on the good in your life
During this time, it’s so important to surround yourself with friends and family that encourage you and lift you up in this season.
And it’s so important to turn to friends that can offer godly wisdom and encouragement.
When you are healing from a broken heart, surrounding yourself with the wrong people can only cause more pain or make things worse.
For example, if you try relying on non-Christian friends for support and encouragement after a breakup, they may encourage you to go get drunk and sleep with someone else to move on from your ex.
As you let God heal your broken heart, focus on the good all around you.
Take time to invest in your health, and try a new work out class or gym. Take the time to try out new healthy recipes.
Or sign up for a new meetup to meet new people in your area.
Check out a new church if you are still looking to meet new Christian friends.
Find activities that make you happy during this time, and that give you hope for the future that God has for you.
Reach out for help and support from godly counsel
Some broken hearts are not easy to heal. Maybe you suffered a tremendous loss or a trauma, or are going through a divorce.
And while God is the ultimate healer and promises to heal you, it’s important to seek out godly wisdom and counsel during this time.
Maybe it means regularly catching up with a mentor or someone at church that you can talk to you as God heals your heart.
Or maybe that means being a Christian counselor or therapist to talk through some of the issues and feelings that you may be feeling.
There is no shame in asking for help. Pray and ask God to highlight those people that you should reach out to for support on this healing journey as God heals your broken heart.
How long does it take to heal a broken heart?
There is no guaranteed time frame or formula for healing a broken heart. Some broken hearts never seem to heal, and some can feel like it takes years to heal.
While some people may feel healed and able to move on after a few months, the most important factor in healing a broken heart is your willingness to surrender it to God and let him heal your broken heart.
If you rely on God during this time and face the emotions and feelings that you are feeling, you’ll be able to heal quicker.
But if you turn from God and instead turn to other people or activities to fill the void, this could only delay the time it takes to heal your broken heart.
Only God can heal a broken heart. Trying to date or hook up with someone new, or turning to substances like drugs and alcohol will only delay the healing process and cause more pain in the long run.
And avoiding your feelings of pain will only delay the process. It may be tempting to fill the void with good things, like exercise, shopping, or working hard at work, but if you use these things to escape how you are feeling, you won’t properly be able to heal from a broken heart.
Will God restore a broken relationship?
God is a God of restoration, and no situation or relationship is too far gone for God to redeem and restore.
If your heart is broken from a romantic relationship, pray and ask God if you’re meant to let that person go, or if you should work on trying to repair the relationship.
God is able to restore any relationship so do not give up on the relationship if God put it on your heart to still be in that person’s life.
I know several relationships that God restored after they broke up. At the time, God was calling them to break up because they were not following God's ways when it came to dating.
They were either living together before marriage or having sex before marriage, and God called them to break up so they could repent and work on their relationship with God.
But if God has told you that he's not the one that he has for you, or if you've already broken up, trust that if it's meant to be, God can restore any broken relationship.
How God can use heartbreak for good
If you are experiencing heartbreak right now, you probably don’t want to be reminded of the Bible verse in Romans 8:28 that reminds us that God works all things for good.
But how can God use a broken heart for good? How could he possibly use your heartbreak and use it for his glory?
I know it may be hard to see the good right now, but I pray that God reveals to you how he is using your broken heart for good.
When God was healing my broken heart from my lost relationship, I felt devastated. I felt like I was only moving backwards in hopes of trying to find a boyfriend.
But God used this heartbreak to bring me closer to him. And God used this unhealthy relationship to show me why obeying him really matters.
When I had a broken heart, I was a new Christian at the time, and I hadn’t been obeying God’s Word in the Bible when it came to dating and relationships.
At first, I thought waiting to have sex until marriage and only dating other Christians were just suggestions in the Bible that nobody paid attention to.
And even after I studied dating and sex in the Bible some more, I didn’t think it was a big deal to obey God in these areas.
But God used my heartbreak to show me the consequences of trying to do things my way when it came to dating. He showed me the destruction that can come from dating when we don’t follow his commands.
I experienced firsthand the consequences of choosing to have sex before marriage and choosing to date someone that didn’t have a relationship with God.
I learned my lesson the hard way – it took getting my heart broken to understand why it was important to obey God in these areas.
But after I got my heart broken by a guy that didn’t treat me right, I refused to settle for anything less than God’s best.
And after learning to walk in God’s ways and making the commitment to wait until marriage to have sex, I received God’s best for my life.
I received a husband that was also honoring God with his purity, and I met a man that loved and respected me.
Now, I am married to an amazing godly man and I can see how God used my broken heart from a lost relationship for good.
How is God using your broken heart for good?
As you let God heal your broken heart, pray and ask him to show you how he is working your heartbreak for good.
Maybe God removed that guy from your life because he wasn’t the one, and he’s going to bring someone better into your life.
Or maybe you’ve been able to reconnect or meet some new friends during this time.
And maybe you’ve learned your own lessons about dating through your own experience, and why it’s important to trust God and his ways when it comes to dating.
Your broken heart is not the end. Trust that God is doing something beautiful in this season, and that he is working all things for good, even your broken heart.
Prayers for Your Future Husband Once God Has Healed Your Broken Heart
When you feel healed and ready to think about the future, download my free prayer guide, 5 Prayers for Your Future Husband, to start praying over your future husband.
I pray that God shows you the godly man that he has for you, and that he will show you why he closed this door from your past relationship.