Should Christians Use Dating Apps? The Best Christian Dating Apps & 5 Things to ConsiderApr 14, 2023
You’ve been praying to meet your future spouse, but you’re still single.
As more couples meet online or through dating apps, you’ve probably asked yourself one of these questions as you surrender your dating frustrations to God.
Should Christians use dating apps?
Can God actually bring you a spouse online?
Is it time to pursue online dating? If so, which dating app should you use?
In this blog post, we’ll discuss whether Christians should use dating apps, including:
- Whether online dating is right for you
- Is online dating not trusting God?
- The best Christian dating apps to consider, and other recommended dating apps
- 5 things to consider with online dating
Are You Ready for a Relationship?
Should Christians use dating apps?
More & more married couples meet online or through a dating app.
According to a study conducted by theknot.com, about 22 percent of couples meet online.
Even though dating apps are becoming more popular, some Christians still have reservations about downloading an app to meet their spouse.
So should Christians use dating apps?
If you use dating apps, does that mean you’re not trusting God for your spouse?
Or if you pursue online dating, does this mean you’re trying to force things to happen instead of waiting on God’s timing?
Is online dating not trusting God?
When praying for your future husband, it’s important to let God guide you.
Online dating isn’t for everyone, and not everyone meets a spouse after swiping left and right for hours on an app.
Waiting on God for a husband means seeking God for guidance and following what He says.
I have several married friends who had used dating apps before, or were against online dating.
But as they prayed for their future husband, they felt like God was leading them to use dating apps.
You could meet your husband anywhere, and God may tell you to pursue online dating to meet your spouse.
Being on the dating apps doesn’t mean you’re not trusting God for a spouse.
As long as you’re seeking God for guidance, you can use dating apps while still trusting that God is in control.
But if God has told you NOT to use the dating apps, or if you’re desperately swiping left and right to get married, this means you aren’t trusting God for your spouse.
How do you know if dating apps are right for you?
When looking for a husband, it’s important to pray and seek God’s guidance to help you determine if you should pursue online dating.
Pray and ask God if you should be on the dating sites or apps, and if so, which apps you should use.
God promises to direct our steps, so pray for God to speak to you if this is something you should pursue.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” – Psalm 32:8 NIV
If you don't have peace about online dating, don't do it.
But if you feel God leading you down that path, go for it.
When I was single, after hearing how one of my close friends had met her husband online, I prayed and asked God if I should go back on the dating apps.
I had been on the apps before and had only gotten frustrated with all the online dating rejection I had been experiencing.
As I prayed for God to speak to me personally about online dating, I didn't get any indication or prompting that I should be on them.
I didn't have the desire to be on them, and I didn't feel like God was leading me down that path.
So I honored God and stayed off the apps, and if you've read my God-written love story on the blog, you know I ended up meeting my husband in church.
Dating apps weren't part of God's plan to meet my husband, but God's plan for you may be different.
Pray and trust that God will show you if you're meant to pursue online dating to meet your husband.
If you don’t feel led to try dating apps, pray and consider the other 10 best places to meet your husband.
While 22 percent of couples meet online, this means that almost 75 percent of couples meet in other ways, or in real life.
If 4 married couples were standing in front of you, this means that 1 couple met online, and 3 couples met somewhere else.
Online dating isn’t for everyone, so trust God to show you if you should pursue the dating apps to meet your spouse.
However, if you struggle to meet single Christian men in real life, online dating may help you meet more men you might date.
Depending on where you live or which church you attend, it may be harder to meet single men your age.
You can always try using the dating apps and see how God guides you once you start swiping.
Are you ready to meet your future husband?
Discover the plans (and man) God has for you in Trusting God with Your Love Story, a 6-week Bible study on singleness & dating
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Can God bring you & your spouse together online?
Short answer: Yes.
I know several Christian married couples who met online.
And none of them care they had to download a dating app, or had to pay for an app to meet their husband.
God can bring you and your spouse together anywhere, including online.
Just because a couple meets online doesn’t mean God wasn’t a part of their love story.
God can move through a dating app to meet your spouse just like he can move in real life.
Still not convinced?
These 5 Christian couples below all met online and are all married...💍
Mili & Jason – Met on Tinder
Hope & James – Met on Coffee Meets Bagel
Lori & Zach – Met on Christian Mingle
Pam & Patrick – Met on Hinge
Sydney & Nick – Met on Tinder
These couples met on different apps, including two couples who met on Tinder.
I’ll share my thoughts on why I DON’T recommend Tinder below in the best dating apps.
But this proves that God can even move through Tinder 🤣
So should Christians use dating apps?
Yes, if God has put it on your heart, you could meet your spouse online.
Best Christian Dating Apps (And Other Apps to Consider)
Now on to the questions you’ve been wondering since you started praying about online dating.
If God has put it on your heart to try dating apps, which dating app should you try?
Should you download a Christian dating app, or try a general dating app?
And what are the best Christian dating apps out there?
Things to consider when choosing a dating app
Every dating app is different, and there can be an overwhelming number of apps to choose from.
When deciding which app to download, consider:
- The number of people using that app
- The quality of men on the app
- Whether you’re comfortable paying for premium content on an app
As a Christian, you want to be equally yoked and to find a spouse that loves God as much as you do.
You may think, “Well, since I want a godly spouse, I’ll only use the Christian dating apps.”
But while there are more Christian dating apps available, the number of men using Christian dating apps may be lower than men using general dating apps.
Even if you meet a guy on a Christian dating app, this doesn’t mean he’s an actual “Christian”.
And you can still meet a guy who loves God on a general dating app, like Hinge or Bumble.
When choosing which dating app to use, pray about it first.
Has God highlighted a specific app?
If you’re still not sure, try downloading an app that is more popular in your area to increase the amount of guys you could meet.
And continue using an app if you’re meeting quality men who share your same faith in God.
Do you want to discover how God is writing your love story?
Learn how to surrender your desire for marriage to God in Trusting God with Your Love Story, a 6-week Bible study on singleness & dating
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Best Christian Dating Apps
In March 2023, I polled single women in the Fun & Holy community on Instagram & through my email list and asked them which were their favorite dating apps and why.
Many women had tried Christian dating apps, while several women were still using the larger, more general dating apps.
If it’s on your heart to try a Christian dating app, these are the best Christian dating apps recommended by women in the Fun & Holy community:
- Christian Mingle
What is the #1 dating app for Christians?
Upward is the most popular dating app based on the ladies polled in the survey.
Some women commented that they met their boyfriend on Upward, and that more men were using the app compared to other Christian dating apps.
But if you want a completely free dating app, you might be limited to the matches you get in Upward.
You can access the app for free, but will have to pay to access all the features in the app (and get more matches).
However, some women using Upward commented that they really like the paid version of Upward.
What about Christian Mingle or SALT?
Ladies also really liked Christian Mingle and SALT, but fewer people may be on these apps compared to Upward, or the other general dating apps.
While fewer people may use Christian Mingle or SALT, a few ladies mentioned they met their husband on Christian Mingle.
Other Christian dating apps that ladies mentioned included:
- Christian Dating for Free (CDFF)
- Christian Connection
- Christian Cafe
I’ve also heard of the Christian dating app, Holy, on social media.
But I haven’t heard any testimonies of women (or men) actually using the Holy app.
An app can sound cool, but if people aren’t actually using it, it will be harder to meet more potential guys you could date.
Important Disclaimer on the Best Christian Dating Apps
On most of the Christian dating apps, ladies mentioned they met men who weren’t interested in God or men who had bad intentions.
Just because a guy is on a Christian dating app doesn’t mean you should date him.
And just because a guy’s dating profile says he’s Christian, doesn’t mean he has a relationship with Jesus.
I wish it were easier to find Christian men out there in the dating world.
But when you meet a guy online, it’s still important to ask him questions to see if he has a genuine relationship with God.
If you’re not sure if a guy is a true Christian, here are 15 characteristics of a man of God.
Other Best Dating Apps
Even though you want a godly spouse, Christian dating apps may limit the amount of people you could meet.
More people use the general dating apps, or apps that don’t have a religion focus.
But if you decide to download a general dating app, you’ll have to be intentional about vetting out the guys who share your faith from the guys who just want to hook up.
Best Other Dating Apps
Based on the survey from the single ladies in the Fun & Holy community, these are the best general dating apps to consider:
- Coffee Meets Bagel
Hinge comes out as the #1 general dating app because of the number of people using the app and the potential to meet someone who is interested in marriage.
According to the knot, Hinge is officially the best dating app for marriage as it paired 30% of couples who met online, and has seen tremendous growth over the past few years.
Bumble continues to be a ladies’ favorite, since it’s up to the woman to initiate conversation.
While this may go against the norm of letting the guy make the first move, this format on Bumble helps eliminate creeps or unwanted men showing up in your app inbox.
Some women feel safer knowing that a guy can only reach out to them if they’ve reached out first.
If your primary concern with online dating is safety & eliminating creeps, Bumble may be the best app for you.
While you can start the conversation in a match, I still recommend letting the guy ask you out first.
Coffee Meets Bagel
Several ladies polled in the Fun & Holy community either met their husband on Coffee Meets Bagel, or met higher quality men compared to other apps.
However, Coffee Meets Bagel seems to have been more popular years ago.
There may be fewer men & women using this app today compared to Hinge or Bumble.
Tinder has been known as the “hookup dating app”, where more people on the app are just looking for sex or to hook up.
Even though two of the Christian married couples above met on Tinder, I don’t recommend starting with Tinder if you’re new to dating apps.
Tinder has remained popular over the years, but I hear most men aren’t looking for an actual relationship, or are only looking to hook up.
Unless God tells you to download Tinder, I would consider one of the other dating apps first.
If you're not sure why it's important to not hook up right away, check out what the Bible says about sex before marriage.
Which dating app should you choose?
Now that you have the results of the best Christian dating apps to consider, how do you choose?
I used dating apps before, and I met my husband at church.
But if I was single and felt like God was calling me to use dating apps to meet my husband…
I would choose 1) Upward and 2) Hinge.
I think it would be worth pursuing a Christian dating app and paying for all the features to meet more quality Christian men.
But since fewer people may use the Christian dating apps, I would also download Hinge to increase the amount of potential men you could meet.
On both apps, I would ask intentional questions to see if a guy had a genuine relationship with God.
And I would block any guy who just wanted to hook up, or who wasn’t looking for a serious relationship.
Are you ready for a relationship?
5 Things to Consider When Using Christian Dating Apps
Now that you know the best Christian dating apps and other apps to consider, it’s important to have the right expectations before using the apps.
While some couples meet online, I’ve heard plenty of horror stories of things gone wrong on a dating app.
The 5 things to consider below when using Christian dating apps will help make your online dating experience better.
1) Consider paying for a dating app
There are lots of free dating apps out there, but I would highly consider paying for the premium content on one of the best Christian dating apps.
Paying for an app may result in higher quality matches, and may help eliminate the men who are only looking to hook up or for a casual relationship.
I would commit to paying for an app for at least a month and using it consistently to see if it’s worth it for you.
When paying for an app, consider the quality of men you’re meeting and whether the app is leading to actual dates.
2) Just because a guy says he’s Christian doesn’t mean he is
I cannot repeat this enough…
Just because a guy’s profile says he’s Christian or has a certain religious view, doesn’t mean he has a relationship with Jesus.
Even if you meet a guy on a Christian dating app, don’t automatically assume he’s Christian.
If you want to find a man who shares your faith in God, it’s important to ask intentional questions to see if he has a relationship with God.
If you match with a guy online, I highly recommend asking the questions below BEFEORE you go out on a date to make sure you aren’t wasting your time.
3 questions to ask a guy to see if he has a relationship with Jesus
Instead of: Do you believe in God?
Better: What is your relationship with God like?
Instead of: Do you read the Bible?
Better: How has God’s Word changed your life?
Instead of: Do you go to church?
Better: How has your church community impacted your walk with Christ?
Asking a guy if he believes in God or goes to church isn't good enough.
Lots of men believe in God or attend church, but don't have a relationship with Jesus.
Don't be afraid to ask these questions to see where a guy's heart is at with God.
If a guy looks at you like you're crazy when you ask these questions, then that tells you a lot about where he's at.
A man who loves God will WANT to talk about God, and how Jesus has changed his life.
3) Be smart with safety
Lots of women from the Fun & Holy community have decided NOT to use dating apps because of concerns with safety.
In both the online & in-person dating world, unfortunately, there are some crazy people out there.
Some women have been stalked before by someone they met online, and some men tried to ask for money.
And guys still try to send nude pictures through dating apps.
With safety, be smart and use good judgment.
Never give someone your address, and don’t let a guy come to your place after a date.
If a guy invites you to his place, it’s best to decline.
Choose to meet up somewhere in public for your first date where there are other people around.
And if a guy has the nerve to ask for money on a dating app, don’t give it to him.
4) Don’t let one awful date ruin your online dating experience
You’re going to meet men on the dating apps who don’t have good intentions.
But you can meet a guy in person and still have a terrible experience.
Don’t let one guy or one awful date from a dating app cause you to give up altogether.
I’ve heard some people meeting their husband on their first match or first date, but most people end up going on several dates before meeting their husband.
Rejection in dating is normal, and you will not like every guy that asks you out.
5) Don’t spend too much time chatting or texting in the dating app
When I was on the dating apps, I got frustrated with the never-ending banter back-n-forth in the app.
And I felt like I was wasting my time when a guy didn’t actually ask to meet in person on a date.
It’s important to ask questions to get to know someone, but don’t spend weeks texting in the app.
If a guy isn’t asking you out, you can mention that you prefer to talk on the phone or to meet in person to see if things are going anywhere.
Dating apps can feel like a part-time job sometimes, and a guy who doesn’t want to meet in person isn’t worth your time.
Are you praying for a husband?
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Erin Elise Kiu