Christian First Date Tips & IdeasMar 12, 2021
Christian Dating Tips for a First Date
You’ve been praying for this guy to ask you out. He’s attractive, has a good job, and seems to love God. The time is finally here – time for your first date!
But what do you talk about on your first date? What topics should you avoid? What do you wear? How do you have a successful first date to see if this guy is someone that you want to go another date with?
And what about kissing on the first date? Should you kiss on the first date or wait until you're in a relationship?
If you’re feeling nervous about your date, don’t worry girl, I got you covered. Here are 10 Christian dating tips for a successful first date, including Christian first date questions to ask and Christian date ideas.
10 Christian Dating Tips for a First Date
Dating Tip #1 – Ask Good Questions to Get to Know Him - Christian First Date Questions
Not asking good questions on a first date is the #1 mistake I’ve seen people make on a date. The whole purpose of a first date is to get to know each other more to see if the other person is someone you could see yourself dating and eventually, marrying.
You could go on the most fun, first date ever but if you fail to engage in meaningful conversation, you won’t know if the guy is someone that you could actually date.
The more questions you ask, the more potential topics you will have to talk about on the date. And the more topics you talk about, the more connections you’ll be able to form as you realize things that you have in common.
So what are good topics to talk about on a first date? What are some Christian first date questions you should ask?
Here are 15 questions to ask on a first date to get to know each other:
- What are you passionate about?
- What is one goal you are working towards this year?
- Where is your favorite place to travel?
- What would your perfect Saturday look like if you could do anything you wanted?
- What are your gifts and talents?
- What’s your favorite part about living in this city?
- How do you want to leave a legacy & make a difference in this world?
- Where is your favorite place in nature to hang out in? (Beach, mountains, lakes, etc.)
- What do you do for work?
- What’s a recent book that you read?
- How do you spend your spare time when you aren’t working?
- What’s your favorite type of work out?
- Where did you grow up?
- What is your family like?
- What’s a recent accomplishment that you’re proud of?
Which topics should you avoid on a first date?
Depending on the person, these 5 topics may not be the best to talk about on a first date.
- Past relationships or exes
- Sex (see tip #9 below)
- Politics (some people love politics & this may be a deal breaker for some people; if you won’t date someone that has certain political beliefs, then feel free to talk about how important this is to you to make sure the guy is on the same page)
- Sharing too much about your past or your past life before you knew God (there will be a time and place to share your testimony of how you came to know God but it’s best not to go into too many details on a first date)
Don't worry, I didn't forget questions to ask to bring up your love for God to see if your date feels the same. See tip #3 :)
Tip #2 – Listen
If you’re asking good questions, the key to engaging in quality conversation is listening.
Did you know that the average attention span for humans is about 8 seconds? It is so easy for us to get distracted and start thinking about something else.
And on a date, it can be so easy to start thinking about things you want to say instead of listening to what the other person is saying.
But when you actively listen, this allows you to ask good follow-up questions. This allows you to pick up on the quirks, nuances and interests of the cute guy sitting in front of you. And it gives you plenty of items to follow-up on the next time you talk.
When you remember a detail about someone, it shows that you were listening. It shows that you care. Listening is a skill that is so underrated but nonetheless, will help you have quality conversation on a first date.
Tip #3 – Talk About Your Faith & God
As a woman of faith, you know how important it is to date and marry someone that also loves God.
On your first date, don’t make the mistake of not bringing up God or your faith and seeing where the guy is at.
Ideally, you should know a little bit about his faith even before your first date and sometimes it may be obvious. If you met him at your church, then you obviously know he knows at least something about God.
If you met him online or on a dating app, his profile may say he’s a Christian and that he loves God, but you may not know much else about his faith or how strong his relationship with God is.
Before you commit to going on another date, it is so important to bring up your faith and love for God and to see where the guy is at. The Bible talks about being equally yoked, and it’s so important to make sure that the guy has a personal relationship with God and is on the same level as you spiritually.
You don’t have to feel awkward or super spiritual by talking about God; you should be able to bring him up naturally in conversation since you naturally talk more about the things you love that are a big part of your life.
If you need some help bringing up God and your faith naturally, you can check out my blog post, top conversation starters to bring Jesus into any conversation.
If the guy says he’s a Christian but you’re not sure if he has a personal relationship with God, check out these blog posts to discern whether he is a true man of God.
Tip #4 – Be Present
Have you ever been on a date with a guy who was texting or scrolling on his phone? Or how about a guy who was glued to the basketball game on the TV in the bar the whole time? How did that make you feel?
Being present and giving someone your undivided attention on a date goes along a way.
My top love language is quality time so I can easily get offended or feel rejected when someone is on their phone as I’m trying to talk to them. And this doesn’t just apply to dates – this applies to any social setting we are in.
If we are sitting with someone, especially at a table for a meal or coffee, we should be engaging in conversation, not ignoring each other or getting distracted by our phones.
If you’re tempted to take out your phone during a date, turn it on silent or let people know you won’t be available. We should not feel like we need to be available 24/7.
Let your other texts, emails, and comments on social media wait – your date will thank you as you stay present and give him the attention he hopefully deserves.
Tip #5 – Encourage Your Date
Guys love words of affirmation. It doesn’t matter if words of affirmation is not his top love language, most guys like to receive compliments and words of encouragement.
Even if it’s your first date, try and find something to encourage or compliment him.
Thank him for paying for the date. Thank him for opening the door for you. Thank him for planning such a fun date.
Admire how good he looks. Compliment him on his outfit.
Acknowledge how thoughtful and sweet he is.
As you find ways to encourage your date, watch to see how his confidence soars and how he does more sweet things in return.
Tip #6 – Pray Together
Yes, you can pray on a first date together. And no, you don’t have to make things awkward or get super spiritual about it.
Prayer is a simple way to invite God on your date and get a glimpse into your date's personal relationship with God. A praying man is a sexy man and if your date knows how to pray, then this is a good sign that he loves God and spends time with him.
If you bring up prayer and your date admits he doesn’t know how or sounds awkward, he may not be as close to God as you think. If he is a new Christian or open to growing more with God, then that’s okay. But at least you will get to see where he is at.
So when is a good time to pray on a date?
If you’re enjoying drinks or a meal on a date, praying before you eat is a perfect opportunity to pray. If he doesn’t take the initiative to pray, you can ask him if he wants to pray. If he doesn’t feel comfortable praying, you should most definitely pray and show him how it’s done.
You could also ask him towards the end of the date if there is anything you can be praying for in his life. Depending on his response and how you feel prompted, you can take the initiative to pray for him right there.
Do you want to strengthen your prayer life? Join the free, 14-day Attracting Your Future Husband Challenge to learn how to pray for yourself & your future husband.
Tip #7 – Dress for Confidence
What to wear on a first date?! The big question that can leave us emptying half our closet before a big date as we try on everything we own.
There is so much pressure to look good for a first date, and presenting yourself well to make a good first impression is important. But you don’t want to be overly focused on looking sexy or dressing in a way that really isn’t you.
As a Christian woman of faith, we have the responsibility to dress modestly and we shouldn’t be wearing anything that will have leave our date feeling tempted and running for the parking lot to flee temptation. You can still look beautiful without showing off those parts of your body that should be covered up.
For a first date, the key is wearing something that you feel comfortable and confident in. If you don’t feel comfortable in a dress and heels, then don’t wear them!
On most of my dates, I went with jeans, a cute top and some low heeled-booties or wedges. Nothing too crazy or over the top. And I left the bright lipstick at home.
If you feel comfortable and confident in what you are wearing, your date will be able to notice and be more attracted to your confidence.
Confidence is sexy; don't let your outfit bring down your confidence!
Tip #8 – Let the Guy be the Guy
You may be an independent, Proverbs 31 woman and as someone that knows her identity in Christ, there is no question that you are able to fend for yourself.
But if you are on a date with a man of God, let him be a guy and let him do nice gestures for you.
Chivalry is not dead; let the guy open the door for you, let him walk you to your car or your door, and let him pick up the check.
If a guy is into you, he should want to be a gentleman and he should want to do these things for you. When you let him do these gestures for you, it will also help him feel more like a man which will boost his confidence in return. Encourage him after he does something sweet and he will be motivated to do it again in the future.
Even if you're used to doing these things for yourself, let the guy swoon you and enjoy being treated like a queen.
Tip #9 – No Sex on the First Date
Yes, you read that right. I wanted to get your attention. If you’ve been a Christian for a while, I hope this is an obvious one but just so we are clear, sex or getting physical on the first date is not a good idea.
Even if it’s your first date, you may be tempted to get physical with each other and it’s so important to know your boundaries before you go on the date.
As I talk about in my blog post, Why I Chose Not to Have Sex Before Marriage, when I surrendered my life to God, I made the commitment to stop having sex and to wait until my wedding night to have sex again.
When I first made this commitment, I knew sex was off limits, but what about other things? How far is too far?
Physical boundaries can be specific for each Christian but I give examples of boundaries to consider in How to Set Boundaries in Dating.
What about kissing on the first date? Should you kiss on the first date?
Deciding whether you kiss on the first date is a personal decision between you and God. I personally do not think that kissing before marriage is a sin, but I would wait to kiss until you get to know the guy a little better.
And hold off on making out on the first date. A lot happens to our brains and bodies when we make out, and since making out increases sexual arousal, I recommend waiting to make out until your wedding night.
If waiting to kiss or make out with someone until your wedding night seems crazy to you, learn more about how not making out was the #1 boundary my husband and I set in our relationship and why we didn't make out until we were married.
But before your first date, I would ask yourself the following questions to make sure you are prepared:
- Are you okay with kissing on the first date?
- How would you respond if he invites you back to his place to hang out?
- What’s the latest you feel comfortable hanging out? What time should you go home before things get too late?
- How do you feel about holding hands or any physical affection on a first date?
- How many drinks, if any, are okay for you to drink?
If you’ve been tempted physically in the past & drinking alcohol has been involved, identify and set your limits for drinking on a date.
If you’ve been tempted in the past, maybe not drinking at all would be a good decision on the first few dates. Maybe you could decide to only have two glasses of wine or beer while avoiding mixed drinks that could contain higher amounts of alcohol.
You know your limits and triggers when it comes to physical temptation. Do whatever you need to do to limit or avoid putting yourself in situations where you’ll feel tempted.
If you've struggled with resisting sexual temptation in the past, you can download my free 7-day Resisting Temptation Devotional & get sneak peek access to my Resisting Temptation Workshop where I discuss what to do when you're tempted and how to overcome sexual temptation.
Tip #10 – Have the Respect to Treat Each Other How You Would Want to Be Treated
No matter how the date ends, you should treat each other with respect. Even if the date didn’t go like you had expected or the guy wasn’t too friendly, you have the responsibility to treat him with kindness and respect.
It can be so easy to be rude back when things don’t go as planned but that isn’t going to benefit either person.
If things did go well and the guy wants to see you again but you’re not feeling it, give him the respect he deserves and be honest. Don’t agree to another date just because you feel bad saying no and don’t ghost him or ignore him completely if you don’t want to go out with him again.
You don’t want to lead each other on or just ignore them. Besides, you never know if you’ll see him again. What if he has a friend that would be a great fit for you? I’ve heard stories of people going on dates and even connecting them to other people when they realized it wasn’t a good fit.
At the end of the day, if you aren't interested, treat each other how you would want to be treated.
Christian Date Ideas
Looking for some fun and unique Christian date ideas? Whether it's your first date or you're looking to try something new, try one of these below.
- Take advantage of the outdoors and plan a fun activity outside. Go hiking, biking, kayaking, surfing - just make sure the other person is up for some fun outdoors :)
- Pack your own picnic, grab a blanket, and enjoy the sunset together.
- Attend church together and go out for coffee or brunch afterwards.
- Plan a classic dinner and a movie, with popcorn of course. If it's still your first few dates, better wait to plan a movie night until you've had a chance to get to know each other. And plan a movie at a movie theatre, not at one of your houses. Watching a movie alone at someone's house can create an atmosphere that may compromise your physical boundaries.
- Attend a Christian concert together. Hillsong Worship anyone?
- Host a game night and invite a few of your friends! Getting to know each other in a group setting takes the pressure off, and allows your friends to get to know him.
- Attend a baseball game or other sporting event together if you both like sports.
- Sign up to volunteer together at a church event or local event doing something you are passionate about.
- Take a dance class together.
Do You Want to Attract Your Future Husband?
Join my free, 14-day Attracting Your Future Husband Challenge to learn how to pray for your future husband and how to become the wife he is looking for as you wait on God to bring you together.
Not interested in the challenge? You can also download my free prayer guide for 5 Prayers for Your Future Husband.
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