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8 Ways to Have More Joy Being Single During the Holidays

purity & singleness Nov 23, 2020

While the holidays are a wonderful time of year, the holidays can also be a reminder of how very single you are.

If you are single at Christmas and wondering how you'll survive being single during the holidays this year, I can totally relate to how easy it is to feel lonely at Christmas.

When I was single for Christmas, it seemed that wherever I looked I saw other couples around me and I was constantly reminded of how single I was during the holidays.

Couples holding hands ice skating. Pictures of happy couples on Instagram and on holiday cards. Engagement ring commercials on TV. Everyone having a date to their holiday party except for you.

With the happy couples all around me doing cute Christmas traditions together, it was a constant reminder that I didn’t have a boyfriend to do all those cute things with.

Where is my boyfriend God? When will I have a husband that I get to go ice skating with and to take romantic photo shoots with on the beach for our Christmas card?

As I waited on God to bring me my future husband, God taught me how to be content and thankful for my singleness, and how to embrace being single at Christmas.

If you are single for the holidays, here are 8 strategies to help you have more joy being single during the holidays this season.


8 Ways to Embrace Being Single During the Holidays 

1) Be Mindful of What You Are Looking at When You're Single at Christmas

We end up focusing on what we are consuming and it’s best in this season to stay away from anything that will make you feel more lonely at Christmas or depressed about being single during the holidays.

Hallmark Christmas movies. Romance novels. Listening to Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You on repeat.

Even spending too much time scrolling past all the cute couples on Instagram can trigger loneliness at Christmas.

I used to LOVE watching all the romantic Christmas movies and spending hours by the fire reading romance novels but I realized it only reminded me of what I didn't have each holiday season.

No matter how many loved ones were around me, these movies and books were a constant reminder that I was still single for Christmas and that I didn't have a boyfriend.

It can be easy to get caught up in all the romantic Christmas movies, but ask yourself, will you feel better about being single during the holidays watching these movies or will you feel worse?

If certain movies or books make you feel more lonely at Christmas and even more single, it’s best to stay clear altogether.

There are plenty of other cute Christmas movies that you can enjoy this time of year like the Elf or The Star that won't constantly remind you that you are single this holiday season.

Consume Media That Will Help You Embrace Being Single at Christmas

If you are looking to grow in your singleness and want to be more content where God has you, make sure you are reading, watching or listening to content that is full with God’s truth and that is full of hope.

Books About Godly Dating & Purity

Are you looking to learn more about purity and Christian dating in a way that honor’s God design? Read a book on purity or how to set physical boundaries this holiday season.

Below are some of my favorite books on Christian dating and relationships that taught me how to date in a way that would honor God.

Sex and the Single Christian Girl: Fighting for Purity In A Rom-Com World

Boundaries in Dating: How Healthy Choices Grow Healthy Relationships

Love Defined

Relationship Goals

The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love

 

**This post includes affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This means I may earn a commission from a purchase which helps fund my blog at no extra cost to you. 

Love Stories in the Bible

Are you looking to study more about relationships and love stories from the Bible? Read the book of Ruth, the story of Abraham and Sarah, or Hosea and Gomer.

These stories from the Bible are some of my favorite love stories and helped build my faith that God was also writing my love story.

You can learn more about how I trusted God with my love story and how I prayed as I waited in my blog post, God is still Writing Love Stories.

Read a Christian Fiction Novel

Looking to read a good Christian fiction book by the fire this Christmas?

One of my favorite books to read every Christmas is Mary's story in A Lineage of Grace. Francine Rivers takes the biblical events from five women in the Bible and adds more context and detail to portray what each women went through.

I love reading about the birth of Jesus from Mary's perspective as her story tells what it would have been like to give birth and raise Jesus.

And you can also read One Transforming Love, which is a Christian Fiction novel that is based on my own testimony of how God transformed my life when I was single.

I spent years wondering why I was still single, but God showed me it was because I was not doing things his way when it came to dating. And in One Transforming Love, I talk about how I struggled to give up my old life and sex before marriage to follow God.

Be intentional this season and focus on content that is full of God’s truth. Focus on content that will make you feel better about your relationship status.

2) Make Plans with Your Friends to Avoid Feeling Lonely at Christmas

If you find yourself feeling more lonely at Christmas, chances are you aren’t alone. Call up your other single friends and make plans to do all those fun Christmas traditions together.

You don’t need a boyfriend to go ice skating with or to check out all the festive Christmas light displays. Make it a special night out with your girls and enjoy the festivities together while sipping hot cocoa.

You can also offer to host and have your friends over for dinner. Make Christmas cookies together. Watch Christmas movies. Sip eggnog by the fire.

Use the gift of hospitality that God gave you and open up your heart and your home to others that also may be feeling lonely at Christmas.

If you want more tips on how to be a better friend in this season and how to make friendships that last, check out my blog post The Power of True Friends.

And learn how to pray when you feel lonely with prayers for when you feel lonely.

3) Focus on the Reason for the Season

It’s easy to get caught up in all of the holiday festivities and traditions this time of year. While a lot of people spend more time with loved ones around the holidays, it can be easy to lose sight of what Christmas is all about.

Christmas is not about having a boyfriend to do all the cute holiday traditions with.

Christmas is about celebrating the birth of our savior, Jesus Christ.

Focus on the reason for the season, Jesus, and spend more time with him in this season instead of focusing on being single during the holidays.

Read about his birth in the gospels. Start a new bible study or bible reading plan.

Spend more time in prayer and worship. Make a commitment to read the Bible more in this season.

This time of year is also a wonderful time to share the gospel and to invite others to church.

Pray and ask God to highlight people who need to receive the love and gospel of Jesus. Some people don’t know the reason for the season and as a Christian, it’s our responsibility to share the gospel so that others can be saved.

Keep inviting friends and family to church. Did you know that people are more likely to go to church on Christmas and Easter than at any other time of the year?

Don’t get frustrated if you’ve invited others in the past to church and they only go to church on Christmas. You never know when God is going to move.

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” – 1 Corinthians 13:7

Love never gives up. Love never loses faith. Just like Jesus never gave up on you, keep extending the invitation to receive Jesus this Christmas to the loved ones around you.

If you want to learn more about focusing on Jesus this Christmas and sharing the gospel with others, check out these blog posts, Focusing on the Reason for the Season or How to Share Your Faith this Christmas.

4) Love Others, Especially Others That Are Alone or Single at Christmas

The greatest commandment is to love God and to love others. Christmas is one of the best times of year to spread love to people who need it the most.

““Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”” – Matthew 22:36 - 39

While you are praying for and hoping for a romantic love, so many people desperately need the love of Jesus and love from others in their life. Some people don’t have any family or friends to spend the holidays with.

Pray and ask God how you can serve and love others in this season.

Donate food or toys to those in need. Serve at a homeless shelter or food bank. Offer to go grocery shopping for your elderly neighbor. Volunteer at your church for any special Christmas events or outreach programs.

Be the love and light this Christmas to those around you that need more of the love of Jesus that you carry inside of you.

5) Pray for Your Future Husband this Christmas

If you do start to feel lonely at Christmas, start praying and thanking God for bringing you your future husband.

Pray and thank God for your future husband whenever you are reminded of being single during the holidays.

God already knows who your future husband is. He is out there somewhere living his life – and he could very well be praying for you, his future wife.

Your future husband could be out there, feeling lonely at Christmas too.

Imagine both of you staring at the stars on Christmas Eve praying to God for each other. Wouldn’t that be beautiful?

Pray and ask God to prepare both of you for your future marriage. Pray for his spiritual growth and that he is a godly man after God’s own heart.

Pray for him to be man that not only reads God’s word but lives it in his daily life.

If you want to learn more about how to pray for your future husband this Christmas, you can download my free prayer guide here. This prayer guide includes 15 scriptures and 5 prayer prompts to pray over your future husband. 

I prayed these bible verses and prayers over my now husband as I waited for him to ask me out and they gave me so much hope as I waited on God to move in his heart.

6) Seek God’s Vision for the New Year & How to Make the Most Out of Being Single

It’s never too early to reflect on all that God has done this year and to press in to what God has for you in the New Year.

While a lot of people make New Year’s resolutions, as a Christian it's important to seek God for the vision that he has for you in the New Year.

“Write the vision And make it plain on tablets, That he may run who reads it. For the vision is yet for an appointed time; But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; Because it will surely come, It will not tarry.” – Habakkuk 2:2-3

Every year, I make sure to take time to journal and reflect on the past year. I take the time to thank God for all the blessings and ways he moved this year. I take time to reflect on what I learned and how I grew in Christ. I take the time to reflect on what I enjoyed or memories that were really special to me.

I then press in and think about the New Year. I reflect on anything from the year before that I need to work on.

I then start to pray and ask God to reveal his vision for me for the New Year. I ask God to give me his desires and to confirm the desires on my heart for certain ministries or people to invest in.

Some Christians ask God for a word, verse or focus for the New Year.

Start praying and pressing in for the vision that God has for you for the New Year. Ask him to show you the plans he has for you and to reveal your word for the year.

What is God calling you to in the New Year? Where do you feel like he is leading you? Are there any new ministries or goals you want to focus on? How can you grow closer to Jesus next year?

If you want to grow closer to God next year, download my free Spiritual Goals Worksheet to help you set specific goals for different spiritual areas.

Need a new journal for the New Year? Click the images below to shop on Amazon.

 

7) Celebrate Being Single During the Holidays Instead of Comparing Your Singleness to Others

Sometimes the holidays can be a constant reminder of how single you are.

It's easy to see all the couples around you doing cute Christmas traditions together, and start to feel jealous or compare your relationship status to theirs.

And in a world of Instagram perfect photos, it doesn’t take long to be in the scrolling cycle of wanting what others have while questioning the things you don’t have.

If you find yourself comparing your singleness during the holidays to others and questioning God’s plan for your life, it’s time to get out of the comparison trap and start celebrating the season you are in.

It’s time to celebrate your singleness and be grateful for all that God has given you. It’s time to celebrate all those happy couples around you and to trust God that if he could do it for them, then he can do it for you.

Pray and journal at least 5 things you are thankful for in this season. Try and think of ways you can thank God for being single during the holidays. 

Maybe you are thankful that you don't have to spend a lot of money on a gift for a boyfriend this year. Or maybe you get to focus on time with your family and friends while you're single for Christmas this year.

And start speaking life over your singleness. Pray and declare positive affirmations over yourself and being single so you can start attracting the good things and future husband that God has for you.

If you find yourself struggling with comparison or jealousy this time of year, check out my blog post, The Comparison Trap: How to Stop Comparison.

8) Explaining Why You’re Still Single at Christmas to Your Loved Ones

"Why are you still single? When are you going to find someone and settle down? When are you going to meet Mr. Right?"

Ah, the infamous questions about your relationship status that you get asked by your aunts, uncles, grandma, mom and other loved ones about being single during the holidays!

When you hear these questions, I’m sure you are tempted to leave the room or to tell them to mind their own business.

But your friends and family love you and want to see you with someone. They may not know how to bring up being single at Christmas in a better way.

I’m sure you’ve even asked these very same questions to God in times of prayer when your hope was wearing thin.

And if you find yourself asking God why you are single, learn the 3 reasons you may still be single and how to prepare yourself to meet your future husband.

While these questions make you cringe and remind you once again of your singleness during the holidays, how do you respond nicely to these questions without getting looks of pity in return?

You could very well tell them that it’s none of their business but that may not go over so well. You could reply that you’d rather be single than date someone like your cousin’s boyfriend but that probably wouldn’t go over so well either.

When my family asked me why I was single at Christmas, I usually responded with an “I don’t know, that’s a very good question” or “I’m asking myself those same questions".

I always felt like I needed to explain my singleness to them when there was nothing to explain. I didn’t know why I was still single either or when I would meet my future husband.

But God finally showed me how to respond to the 'why are you still single'? question.

“I’m trusting God’s plan and his timing is perfect.”

BOOM. Pause. Wait for their reaction.

This answer takes the focus off you and what you are or what you are not doing that is causing you to be single, and instead puts the focus on God. He is the one in control and as a woman of God, you know that his plans and timing are perfect.

This response may even be an opportunity to talk about God with your loved ones who don’t know God very well.

You could end up sharing all God has done in your life and the plans he has for you. Who knows, maybe God will even prompt you to share the Gospel with this person.

Prayers for Joy Being Single During the Holidays

As you trust God to bring you your future husband when the time is right, I pray you feel God’s joy and hope this holiday season.

God knows the desires of your heart and he cares about your relationship status as much as you do.

A year ago, I found myself single during the holidays again. But God knew the desires of my heart and I kept praying for the guy I had feelings for all year.

I had been asking God to reveal and bring me my future husband that year, and had been praying all year for God to specifically confirm if the guy I liked was the one.

And God was faithful. He heard my prayers and I found myself standing next to the guy I had been praying for on New Year’s Eve at church. And now, a year later, we are married. WON’T HE DO IT!

Read more about how God wrote our love story.

God did it for me and he will do it again for you when you put your trust in him!

Related Blog Posts on Christian Dating & Relationships

Want more blog posts about Christian dating? Check out the blog posts below for more Christian dating tips and insight from God's word.

Godly Man vs. Good Guy - 15 Ways to Tell if a Guy is a Godly Man

Single and Ready to Mingle: How to Be an Ambassador of Christ When Dating

Single and Ready to Mingle: How to Bring Jesus into Any Conversation

God is Still Writing Love Stories

Should You Ask the Guy Out Already?

How to Set Boundaries in Dating

Christian Gift Ideas for Christmas

Looking for the perfect Christmas gifts this year? 

Click here to access my gift guide for Christian women that includes 50 gift ideas for the ladies.

Click here to access my gift guide for Christian men that includes 25 gift ideas for the men of God in your life.

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With Love,

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